Penny Arcade

Gabe got his hands on a component switcher yesterday, no doubt prodded into it by Storm Shadow.  He got it yesterday as we were writing the strip, and instead of setting up - or even opening it up and looking at it - he buried it under something in the closet and shut the door.  Today’s comic will take place probably when we get back from E3, provided she doesn’t find it first.

I nearly forgot to mention it, I just saw it open on the floor at that brought it to mind:  RTCW: Tides Of War, for the Xbox.  Gabe had very nice things to say about it already, but I mainly want to add data to his initial assessment.  We had a chance to try out the co-op play, which was fun on the whole - the single player game needs a hook like this, in my opinion - but for some reason your companion moves around in a strange and hitchy way that it pretty distracting.  God only knows how the online multiplayer is able to look so smooth, when two guys on the same box don’t get the same treatment.  And the online play is very good, but as with every Live game there are people out there running servers that have no business running a server.  As for the multiplayer, my PC gaming brethren won’t be blown away by anything that is presented - but console gamers, take note:  Return To Castle Wolfenstein is one of the finest multiplayer games our platform has ever seen.  If you have never played this game before, or only seen it through the window as you looked longingly at a stranger’s top-of-the-line gaming machine, now is the time for you to get in the swing.  Live-wise, you will be well served by clean menus and a fuckload of game-tuning options.  Game-wise, an ample supply of maps and interdependent classes may shock you.

I received some very angry mails about why I’m “wrong” about Planetside costing too much, complete with chiding, imperious tones about the “real world” and how there are many costs to the developer that I’m just not taking into account.  We’ll, I’ll give you that one.  The reason I don’t take them into account is because I don’t care.  I don’t care that they need to restock the pop machine or put a two-page advertisement in PC Gamer.  I don’t care that they need to pay a legal team to properly terrify the authors of fan fiction.  I’m not their fucking accountant, I’m a consumer.  I don’t care why they charge too much for me to pay in order to play Planetside, I just wish they hadn’t - I want to be able to withstand their monthly charge without having to bite down on a strip of leather.  If you want to pay it, I mean, shit - knock yourself out.  You’re going to have a great time, I can vouch for that.  I just won’t be there.

I have received a growing number of mails regarding Penny Arcade shirts and whatnot, and the inability of people to find our unique offerings on GameSkins.  Just as a quick note for anyone who didn’t see it before, Kiko over there doesn’t have our shirts because we told him to send them to us - we’re opening up our own store which should be available while we’re at E3 next week.  I know I’ve been saying that for a long time, but there was always one more stupid thing that had to be done.  At this point, we’re really just waiting for our shirts to come from the printers.  We also got stickers, which you can’t buy but will come with everything else.   

(CW)TB out.

i worry about your shoulder blades

I know it’s all very spooky, modern plague or whatnot, so perhaps it is not a viable target for humor.  However!  I would ask that you check out the second picture in this article on the grave threat.  I doubt he is a PA reader or anything, I’ll bet that in a scenario like that - where an invisible killer stalks men - you’re just trying to make the best of a bad situation.

(CW)TB

LoudMusic just sent me this link.  It’s some kind of Goddamned alien remote.  Universal is one thing - it’s nice to have a single device.  But this thing can actually remember keyed sequences, which is nice, because it might mean that Gabe can stay married.

(CW)TB

Homelan has a little interview action with yours truly going on right here. Tycho is a huge star now and cannot be bothered with such trivial things, so he didn’t answer any of the questions. I tried calling him last night to play some Raven Shield but his personal assistant told me that “Mr. Brahe was in the middle of a very important meeting with Mr. Jacuzzifullofladies and was not available for comment.”

-Gabe out

Sony’s mega-remote, mentioned earlier, is - I am told by many humans - an attempt to replicate the Philips Pronto.  How could I have known?

(CW)TB

When: Friday May 16th


Where: Kentia Hall, food court.


When: noon

Tycho and I will be there signing stuff and chatting. If you are gonna be at the show come say hi.

-Gabe out

Get a load of this press release for Namco’s new game I-Ninja.

I-Ninja, scheduled for the PlayStation 2 and Nintendo GameCube in Q4 2003, is an adrenaline-charged adventure game. An ultra-cool ninja with major attitude meets extreme sports game play, I-Ninja is the consummate warrior who has spent years mastering his weapons and honing his skills. In true gravity defying game play, I-Ninja can scale buildings, “shred” on extreme rails, hover great distances with a “sword copter”, ride drifting roller spheres and utilize specialized manga-style ninja moves to navigate through each dynamic environment.

Sounds bitchin’.

(CW)TB

Also from Namco

Extreme lesbian Ninja hot oil wrestlers, scheduled for the PlayStation 2 and Microsoft XBox in Q4 2003, is an adrenaline-charged adventure game. These are ultra-mega-super-cool ninja lesbian wrestlers with major attitudes and big breasts who love extreme sports almost as much as they love other super hot lesbian ninja wrestlers. It’s kung-fu meets Tony Hawk meets an inflatable swimming pool full of hot lesbian wrestlers, These ladies are consummate warriors and love makers who have spent years mastering their weapons and honing their tight bodies. In true gravity defying game play, these oiled up lesbian ninja wrestlers can scale buildings, “shred” on extreme rails, fly around, Shoot lasers and shit, Blow stuff up, Run around like they were in the fucking Matrix or some shit. Tear each others clothes off, ride drifting roller spheres and utilize specialized manga-style super anime-power ninja moves to navigate through each dynamic environment.

-Gabe out

Evil Avatar just posted a little comment about PlanetSide that I thought was interesting.

I’m still interested in seeing how the pricing pans out, but at this point I’m leaning toward being willing to pay the $12.95 a month (If that is the price.) and just living with knowing that I’m getting a LOT of gameplay out of my thirteen bucks a month.

The price is not going to “pan out” to anything other than thirteen bucks. Sony never had any intention of making it cost any less. If you read the comments  along with that article it looks like Sony is gonna have a hard time getting gamers to swallow thirteen bucks a month for an FPS. I’m willing to lay out that kind of cash for a game like Galaxies but that’s because I will really be investing in my character. In fact I’d wager that’s the reason most people pay money for these kinds of games. You become attached to your character or characters and you get addicted to leveling them up and shit, “another month and I can get the golden armor of Lord Kabu-Kabu!” That kind of feeling is not really there with Planetside. Maybe some people will pay that much at least until Half Life 2 and Doom 3 come out but I don’t honestly see this one panning out for Sony in the long run. Not the way Everquest did or Galaxies will at any rate.

The funny thing is that most people agree the game is fantastic, just not thirteen bucks a month fantastic. I bet if Sony charged four or five bucks they’d have significantly more takers.

-Gabe out