Penny Arcade

I was desperate for information about Max Payne 2, so I called Gabe the moment they would let me turn my cell phone back on.  He’s already bored, finds the action listless and repetitive, and really, really wants Max Payne to Shut Up.  I grabbed it just to see for myself.  Who knows what that reflex is - to see another man disgusted by something, and say to yourself, “I want some of that.”

After playing it myself, I understand the issue.  Max Payne 2 is not really a different game from the first Max Payne.  I’ll deal with the narrative in a moment, but game-wise it is virtually identical.  So if you were already sick of Max Payne before it ended, like Gabe was, then you will be sick of Max Payne 2 even before it starts.  We certainly have what they are calling Bullet-Time 2.0, which is by all accounts a very nice Bullet-Time, but you will not be unfamiliar with it.  In addition to a color-change effect, this new bullet-time allows you to reload almost instantaneously - very nice for a sawed-off, with its two-shot payload.  You might have seen this spin thing Max does in videos of the game, and that’s what he’s doing.  Bullet-time also ramps up in effectiveness as you extinguish human life which is great for all you effectiveness fans out there.  I would liken the original Max Payne to a tuna fish sandwich.  If you have had your fill of tuna fish sandwiches, you will not find the sandwich any more appetizing if they bring you another tuna fish sandwich with a fancy deli toothpick in it.   

I craved the first game, and only recently reinstalled it to get back in the mood.  I loved the first Max Payne with the unwavering, bulletproof love I have for all kittens.  It’s intense and very masculine.  So when I install the new one and see environments crafted with adoration and a sense of architecture, I see textures and models that are just sick, and I shoot a man into a shelf which then collapses, I get the same feeling I had before back - the good feelings I remembered.  The graphical improvements, what I call fancy deli toothpicks, would be hard to overstate.  I will stand by a light sometimes and just move around to see the shine on the coat.   

The story that bores Gabe so intensely I am thus far perfectly satisfied with, but admittedly I wasn’t expecting much.  I’ve participated in a few fairly strange interactive cutscenes that are far less self-indulgent and more involving than the ones from the first game, I am satisfied that they have matured their storytelling technique based on what I’ve seen thus far.  I think I’ll go play it some more. 

The tools for Max Payne 2 will be out shortly, God willing we’ll get another Kung-Fu mod to enjoy the game with on the higher levels.

Having just returned from the NBA Ballers blingathon, the experience was psychotic enough that I can’t depict it at the moment.  If it is in my power to depict the scenario in a way you might find interesting I will do so come Monday.

Also, I’d read on WinInformant before I left that iTunes for Windows was imminent, and sure enough it’s there now.  I keep hearing it’s holy or whatever.

(CW)TB out.

there’s an infinity of possible worlds

I bought Jak II and Max Payne 2 on the same day. To me they represent two very different ways of creating a sequel to a popular game.

On one hand you have Jak II. Naughty Dog had the guts to take this sequel in a very different direction. The game starts off with the main character Jak being thrown in jail where he is tortured and experimented on for two years. Obviously this isn’t going to be the same goofy, lighthearted platform game the first one was. That doesn’t mean the game isn’t funny. In fact I’d say Jak II sports even better writing than the first one and delivers even more laughs.

Every character is just that, a character. Through the use of brilliant animation, gorgeous character designs, stunning levels and talented voice acting Naughty Dog has created an unbelievably rich world, and brought it to life in a way that few other games ever have. The fact that you will never see a loading screen only adds to the immersion. How they managed to do what they have done with Jak II on the Playstation is a Goddamned mystery.

Beyond the graphical improvements the game play has also received some major tweaking. You take missions in a hub city the same way you might in a game like GTA3. Hell you will even find yourself jacking hover cars and outrunning the local authorities. the missions you take though, will send you outside the city walls or into it’s factories and sewers on more traditional platform style quests. You will find yourself collecting thing-a-majigs or wang-a-mabobs in an effort to satisfy the mission requirements. However the missions and the characters you receive them from make sense in way that most platform games simply don’t. Destroying sentry guns in the sewer for a smuggler or blowing up ammunition for the resistance. The sorts of things you find yourself doing have a real purpose in the game world as opposed to collecting music notes or space nuts so that you can open some fucking gate somewhere.

Jak II also builds on the combat by giving you some new weapons. You can still swing daxter around and punch stuff but Jak now has an assortment of rifles and such that he can use to dish out damage as well. Jack can also transform into a evil version of himself in order to tear shit up with his claws and special dark powers you learn as the game progresses. There are weapon combos that will allow you to smack one target with your gun and then immediately fire on the next. Overall the combat in JAk II is significantly more entertaining than in the first game.

What it all boils down to is that Jak II is a perfect sequel. On the other hand you have Max Payne 2.

MP2 feels like the same game I played three fucking years ago. The guys come out, they say “you’re gonna die Max!” and then you shoot them. Sometimes you shoot them in slow motion. That’s just not enough for me anymore. The whole thing is repetitive and boring. First you shoot the guys in the warehouse then you shoot them in the apartment building then you shoot them in the office building blah blah blah, whatever. I don’t give two shits about the characters or their problems. It’s so fucking overdramatic that it’s humorous. I understand that sort of language is par for the course in that genre but that doesn’t mean it’s good. Just my two cents. Obviously Tycho likes it. The fact is, I was bored of the first one by the time it ended and this new game doesn’t give me anything to get exited about. Max Payne 2 isn’t a sequel it’s an expansion pack that’s about two fucking years late.

I laughed when I went to the Apple site and saw that they call itunes the best Windows app ever. Now I am enjoying a playlist full of Beck and I think those sons of bitches might be right.

-Gabe out

Stormy just sent me a new Hook-Up, according to the strange system he uses to determine their frequency.  I like to think he sent it today in celebration of my fourth anniversary.

(CW)TB

There is a very nice article about us this week in the Seattle Weekly. You can check it out here if you’re interested. I am not exactly sure why they chose to use artwork from the cretaceous period, but the article itself is awesome.

-Gabe out

I had no idea when that interview guy was going to contact me, and I was “three sheets to the wind” when he did call.  I’m very glad that he included no quotes from me in his piece, because I did mention that I worked in the Frontier West driving railroad spikes with my cock.

(CW)TB