Penny Arcade

Misbehaving with a game’s physics system is one of life’s great pleasures.  Don’t think about the domination of your species by hostile aliens and their earthly commissars for a little while.  Take a moment to hit someone you don’t know with a box of delicious chow mein!  Smash your downtrodden fellow man with a glass jug.  You’ll thank me later.

Managing the role of expectation on a title - or, indeed, discerning when that expectation is present to the degree that it fouls the experience - can be a huge problem.  A regular game costs fifty dollars, give or take.  Steel Battalion ran two hundred dollars when it was first released - if it is not four times as fun as a mortal game, can it be said to have failed?  Daikatana had many elaborate matrices of expectation ensconcing it, that’s a topic all by itself, but the fact that it gestated for four years before release had already signaled the carrion birds. 

So what are we to think about a game that has cooked for six years - slow roasting, by any man’s reckoning.  In this company, I don’t even need to name it.  A game whose arrival is inextricable with its unique delivery method and whose launch was predated by the already mature development suite used to create it.  The forum threads typically have an air of hostile reverence, like subjects discussing a mighty (but absent) sovereign.

I suppose we are lucky, then, that we needn’t spend a lot of time wringing our hands about whether or not the game is good.  It is good.  It’s so good that no less than three times I have set this post aside for a few more moments in it.  Oh, that’s right - I game on the PC because while consoles tend to offer a more elegant experience, the personal computer can deliver worlds of such fidelity and verisimilitude that I can, in communion with it, go somewhere entirely else.   

Apparently people who bought it at retail had some trouble getting their copies running right, it was fixed shortly thereafter.  I’m given to understand that people who ride horses to work or in other ways live their lives discordant with science and reason also suffer because of their strict adherence to anachronism.  Get with the fucking program.  Stop mixing those specious folk remedies and download your games directly from the Intertron. 

Also, Penny Arcade turns six today.  I can think of no better way to celebrate this momentous occasion than to buy a cool toy - something you’d want yourself - for a young person who could use some cheering up right now. 

(CW)TB out.

you need a montage

Every big charity always has a fancy dinner and auction. We figure that just because we’re gamers doesn’t mean we can’t get dressed up for one night and act like we’re a bunch of fancy high society types. So with that in mind I’d like to invite you to the Child’s Play 2004 charity dinner and auction - December 9th in Bellevue Washington.

Tickets for the event are $100.00 and you can purchase them here. I know that’s expensive but keep in mind that proceeds are going to our partner Children’s Hospitals. Also let me tell you about the incredible night we’ve got planned.

The evening begins at 6:30. Browse and bid on silent auction items while you enjoy hors doevres, wine, and good company. Dinner and the live auction will commence at 7:30. Auction highlights include a tour of Bungie, a lifetime subscription to STEAM (including Half-Life 2), Washington wine, a lifetime subscription to Dark Age of Camelot, original art, and an appearance in a Penny-Arcade comic strip.

Attire: semi-swanky. Leave your Fruit Fucker T-Shirt and jeans at home for one night. Show off the jacket and tie that have been sitting in your closet since prom. Tell your wife or girlfriend to dust off her best dress casue your taking her out. For one night we’re all going to look fucking sharp.

Dinner menu: Read the following menu and understand that Penny Arcade does not fuck around. When we throw a charity dinner, it stays thrown Goddamnit. Grilled salmon with lemon aioli and crispy leeks served with tomato-herb couscous and fresh seasonal vegetables, or top sirloin steak with merlot rosemary demi glaze and roasted mushrooms served with horseradish potatoes and fresh seasonal vegetables, or vegetarian. The Cherry Balsamic Salad features baby greens with cucumber, toasted pecans, feta cheese and balsamic dressing. The Chocolate Royale Cake features rich coffee cake with mocha whipped cream and chocolate shavings. Fresh bread, coffee, tea, and wine are served with your meal. Now try and tell me that doesn’t scratch you right where you itch!

Auction: Take a gander at some of the stuff you’ll be able to bid on during the auction.

Tour of Wizards of the Coast (D&D) -
Attention Dungeons & Dragons fans! Have you ever dreamed of visiting the place where D&D is made? Curious to find out what strange monsters lurk inside Bill Slavicsek’s office? Do you want to take a peek inside R&D’s games library? How about actually playing D&D with the people who make the game? Then Wizards of the Coast’s Dungeons & Dragons Experience is your dream come true!

Auction winner and a guest will receive a tour of the Wizards of the Coast corporate headquarters located in Renton, WA, lunch, and an opportunity to game with Dungeons & Dragons R&D staff.

Tour of Wizards of the Coast (Magic)-
Attention Magic: the Gathering fans! Have you ever dreamed of visiting the place where Magic is made? Curious to find out whose desk is messier, Mark Rosewater’s or Randy Buehler’s? Do you want to see for yourself if Richard Garfield really does roam the halls? How about testing your Magic playing skills against the people who make the game? Then Wizards of the Coast’s Magic: the Gathering Experience is for you!

Auction winner and a guest will enjoy a tour of the Wizards of the Coast corporate headquarters located in Renton, WA, lunch, and an opportunity to play against Magic: the Gathering R&D staff.

Tour of Bungie-
How does a monster game like Halo 2 get made? This is your chance to meet the developers and see where the magic happens.

Half-Life 2 and a lifetime subscription Steam-
All the Valve games you want for the rest of your fucking life. Think about that shit, every new game, every mod everything, it’s all yours for free!

Tour and gaming with Penny Arcade-
Our office isn’t as cool as Nintendo but we’ll treat you right. Come hang out with us, eat some pizza and play some Halo 2.

Appearance in a Penny Arcade strip-
People always ask what they would have to do to get a guest appearance in a PA strip. Well here’s your chance.

Workshop at Digipen-
Spend a few weeks this summer at the premier game development school on the west coast.

Lifetime subscription DAoC-
You can play DAoC for free until the day you fall over dead!

1 year subscription Gamefly-
Fuck buying games! For one year you’ll have access to all the new releases and old favorites for free!

Original video game themed artwork from artists like Adam Warren, Jason and Heather Martin, Kazu Kibuishi, and many more.

Original Penny Arcade artwork including your first chance to get one of our new limited edition Twisp and Catsby laser etched prints.

Gift certificates to game stores

Free admission to Penny Arcade Expo 2005

Let me tell you how the auction is going to work. The items will be divided into two groups. Some will be available via a silent auction while others will be in the live auction. The silent auction will run from 6:30 to 7:30. Live auction will run from 7:30 to 9:30 and will be emceed by Tycho and I.  All bids are binding. Please bring form of payment to the event (cash, check, credit card) as all bids are to be settled that evening.

Taxes: $25 of your ticket price is tax-deductible ($ticket - cost of dinner). All auction bids are 100% tax deductible. Tax ID # is 91-1156519.

All proceeds go to the Seattle Children’s Hospital and other partner hospitals of Child’s Play.

As you can see this is going to be one hell of a night and it’s all for a good cause. I’d recommend purchasing your ticket or tickets quick as we only have a limited number of seats available.

Again, thanks everyone for your support thus far. We’ve raised nearly $75,000 in the first two weeks, and we really think we can bust through our goal of $400k this year. You all rock.

-Gabe out

The World of Warcraft Strategy guide should be in stores tomorrow. I mentioned a few days ago that the book is full of original comic strips by Tycho and I. So we’re going to go to our local EB around lunch and sign all the copies they have. If you want to, you can come by and say hi. We’ll be at the EB in the Northgate mall around 12:30. Or you should be able to drop in there later and at least pick up an autographed copy.

-Gabe out