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Tycho

In order to get the secret ending in Kingdom Hearts II, which an honest person might call the real ending, you must complete Jiminy The Cricket’s extensive journal of sadistic, impossible, and insulting tasks without error or hesitation.  Gabriel claims to have resigned himself to the less potent denouement, but I see him stare at nothing sometimes, and I know that he is gazing upon the smooth, high wall of his cowardice. 

I’ve been following Assassins’s Creed since it was called Project Assassin, when it was being promoted as a multiplatform title at X05 rather than a game which a recent press release implied had a Playstation 3 focus.  Before I continue in this vein, let me say that I think Next Generation budgets being what they are almost guarantees a release on the 360 as well, but that’s a separate issue.  As we’ve seen with the (primal sounding neologism) GRAW, Ubisoft doesn’t leave money on the table - even when it means making a next-gen entry for consoles, a completely different game to appeal to the PC fans that built the franchise, and then a truncated subset of those games for the cast-off and decrepit older generation.  No doubt a version is en-route for the TI-89 graphing calculator

If you saw the extremely titillating teaser video that formally introduced the game, you could see the Splinter Cell slash Prince of Persia pedigree made manifest in the tiny snip of game footage.  You might not know that there was information about the gameplay philosophy for Assassin’s Creed released at GDC, available at GamaSutra.  It sounds like moving through dense crowds is actually a basic part of gameplay, and it looks like parkour-inspired urban acrobatics are on the menu as well.

I’ve read things recently to the contrary on some of the particulars, but the etymology of Assassin is entered in Merriam-Webster as (essentially) Muslim Terrorists, and before I read the press release carefully I didn’t know if Ubisoft had gone crazy or had balls of steel or what, but a game where - through through a combination of cleverness, physical culture, and brutality - you dispatch the agents of The West (proper noun) seemed like what you might call an odd market proposition

Politicians really need no help homing in on the aspects of the medium that will get them the most play.  Imagine a placard like this on the floor of the House: 

September 11th, 1191?

to see what message they might take from such a game.  A closer, which is to say complete and entire, reading of the press document reveals that you play as a representative of some ahistorical "third party" in the Crusades dedicated to the Holy City of Jerusalem itself,  in the way that "The (ahem) Brotherhood Of The Cruciform Sword" of Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade fame is dedicated to the preservation of the Grail. 

I can connect any topic to Indiana Jones.  I’m great at parties.

(CW)TB out.

  like a ratchet in an auto shop

Gabe

Are you going to E3? Well we will be signing stuff at the Ubisoft booth again this year. The days of security tossing us out into the street are thankfully over. This will be the third year that Ubi has been kind enough to provide with us with a space to do our thing. Just like last year we’ll be handing out a free comic book that collects all the comic projects we did for them last year. Here is a peak at the cover:

 

We’ll be there on Wednesday and Thursday from 1 to 2 in the afternoon. The free comics will be a “while supplies last” sort of thing so come early if you want to get one of those. We’re happy to sign and doodle on anything you happen to have though. Our only rule is that it cannot burn, sting or bite. I think I told the story last year about how upon seeing the line of people waiting for us I became so flustered that I walked into the woman’s bathroom. After splashing some water on my face I realized there were no urinals and everything was pink. That’s real terror. Anyway, the point is our lines tend to be sort of long for whatever reason. What’s happened is they’ve turned into DS LAN parties. If you bring a DS I don’t think you’ll have any trouble finding some games or some pictochat to pass the time.

A while ago we linked you guys to what I think is probably the best World of Warcraft machinima there is. The movie is called Return and it’s won all kinds of awards since it came out last year. Well now the trailer for part two is available and I highly recommend you check it out. These guys are really doing some incredible work.

Speaking of movies I assume you have all seen the latest Superman trailer by now. I would describe it as “shit hot”. What’s interesting is comparing how awesome the Superman trailer looks to this terrible clip showing a sentinel from X-Men 3 (possible spoilers). Everything about that clip is trash from the set to the acting to the dialogue. I am perfectly aware that Colossus throwing Wolverine around is canonical but in real life it looks fucking stupid. I’d say Bryan Singer was what made the previous X-Men films so great and now he’s taken his magic wand and pointed it at Superman. Comic book fans are lucky they have someone like Bryan who not only understands comics but understands how to translate them into movies without making you feel ashamed of your hobby. What I want to know is when videogame fans will get a director like that.

Also, I’m pretty sure that’s Jerry and I (the real us, not Gabe and Tycho) in the last panel of today’s PvP. I’m not sure what we’re doing there or what if anything Scott has planned for us but I thought it was pretty cool.

-Gabe out

Gabe

Kiko just finished a new T-Shirt design for all the Annarchy fans out there.

 

I love it! This should be in the store soon.

-Gabe out