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Tycho

My cohort feels bad about his regular Monday game going on hiatus - I would submit - because he hasn’t seen or run enough tables to know that far from being a statistical anomaly this is actually the most likely outcome.  The misshapen wreckage of promising campaigns is heaped in smoking pyres, charred and unrecognizable.  Whole realities are thrown away or put on hold, and the mortals that strove to win them find obliteration instead of a hero’s rest.

Happens all.  the.  time.

Sucks for those heroes, maybe, and the children of living crystal they were in the middle of saving probably wish things had turned out differently.  Quite often in these cases, searing magma is the real winner, slipping out of the cracks in the narrative, the faultlines between friends, and by the time it cools maybe people are ready to invest themselves again.  Maybe.

Having some experience in these matters, I directed him toward a bulbous and straining cache of ancient aggression circa ‘89.  Vintage wrath, and it was a good year.

The main advantage of playing games on a computer, whether they be native beasts or some fanciful Eurogame conversion, is the addition of an unsparing, wholly impartial adjudicator who is really good at math and doesn’t ever wrong.

The inauguration of a fully-functional Warmachine night that spanned four factions allowed me to achieve a state which was beyond human exhilaration, but the inherently analogue nature of wargames in general made us long for some kind of Battle Magistrate to resolve disputes.  Dungeons & Dragons (at least, as played these days) might have some interpretations that people can argue about, but people very rarely argue about something like range or the area affected by a template.  And even if they did, and I’ve seen this happen at Gabe’s table, I think I may even have been the agent of this dissension, the DM just reminds you who has the fucking reins of this shit and the fight is over.

You get used to someone (or something) answering questions like this for you in the background; you look at your hotbar in World of Warcraft and if shit ain’t gon’ work, it’s greyed out.  Not so here in Warmachine Town, which I think is technically called Caen, but whatever.  You commit scarce resources and commit attacks based on your estimation that an enemy is within range, and whole games can turn on these maneuvers.  That’s something you don’t get in a digital arbitration engine, I suppose; a possibility space which is as wide as human frailty.

(CW)TB out.

kind and good

Gabe

 

You didn’t think I forgot did you?

Well actually I did forget.

But you all reminded me soooooo, it’s Dickerdoodle time again! That’s right, I’m asking you to send me your pictures of people making/enjoying Dickerdoodles once again. Just like previous years I’ll post the best ones and give out prizes to the winners. You can take a look at the winners from last year right here and you can see a gallery of my favorites from last year right here. (Warning NSFW!).

Each and every year I am reminded what a huge bunch of fucking perverts you are.  I can’t wait to see the fucked up shit you guys come up with this year.

So send me a mail with your photos and please put “Dickerdoodle10” in the subject line otherwise I might miss your entry. Please try and keep your file sizes reasonable. Also please recognize that I’ll be posting some of these photos online. If you don’t want a picture of yourself with a dick cookie buried up to its hilt in your mouth on the internet, then please don’t send it. I’ll be accepting entries for one week. So get your photos in before Wednesday December 22nd.

-Gabe out

Gabe

** Today is the last day to take advantage of our free priority shipping deal. That means you need to order from us today if you want to get your stuff by Christmas!**

 

If you are like me you probably wait until the very last minute to do your Christmas shopping. We’ve got a special offer going for procrastinators right now that you might want to take advantage of. If you order some stuff from our store and select parcel post as your desired delivery option we will upgrade you to priority mail free of charge! That means that you have until the 16th of December to order some PA merch and still get it delivered by Christmas.

Speaking of the store, we have a new hoodie available with every one’s favorite fruit juicer.

Also those of you who have been sucked back into Cataclysm might find humor in our classic “Green is the new Purple” shirt, now $5 off. Wear it proudly as you replace those epic items you spent months getting with green quest rewards!

-Gabe out

Tycho

Every time I scroll down the page, I’m surprised to see a cat with its dick out.  Every time.  

Anyway, new Precipice.  (And it’s the right one, this time - ed.)  Oh, and I wrote Monday’s already, too.  I know, right?  I’m an innovator, people.  

(CW)TB