It’s true. For some reason I cannot entirely grasp, Gabriel is using a Windows Phone.
I have discussed this need of his for novelty, his cravings; I may have implied that they were the exposed seams of an irredeemable character. If I thought the Microsoft offering worked better, or was better, or did something I couldn’t already do, perhaps I would follow him into the dark. I don’t possess that autonomic twitch or olfactory genitals that guide him or whatever the fuck compels him into these bizarre alleyways. In the case of the Windows Phone, it’s not even an alleyway: it’s a cul-de sac.
It wouldn’t matter if it were excellent. The hour is late. This is 2011, and they’ve brought a cellphone to a knife fight. They’ve reserved Gaming functionality for their minority device that should be ubiquitous. That’s what a true hegemon would do: become indispensable on their competitor’s platforms. I get very, very confused by this company sometimes.
Back to Gabriel. On some level, it’s probably a desire to go out into the world the iPhone altered so completely, and see what strange creatures have grown in his absence. Yes; I think I will call him Explorer. That’s a narrative with more redemption potential than Perpetual Compass Dick.
Having returned from Spokane without incident (save the “going to Spokane” portion, and those brutalities which are both attendant and inextricable) I have come back to find a bunch of these strange “videogames.” These are super fun! You should try them.