The Grim Schematic
Fear not - though it might appear that today’s stork spearheads a nightmarish foray into dreaded Continuity, you may put your mind at ease. The devious machinations of Thomas Kemper will assuredly bear bitter fruit, but they certainly aren’t going to do it tomorrow.
We just set up an E3 appointment (5:30pm, Wednesday) with a group that doesn’t even want me to say who they are. I’m starting to freak out a little bit about the Expo in general, and I have a hard time thinking about things that don’t have some kind of Expo Angle. If it were up to me, we wouldn’t be doing this, but Gabe says he’s going to, so that means I am. We’re going to be in the Kentia Cafeteria, at 12:00pm, on Friday the 24th for about an hour. Last year we just set up shop at Kiko‘s booth, but since he’s going Civilian this time around we’re just going to hijack that food court. I found it very difficult to stop shaking last year when we met readers, and I am sure that this year will be no different. Come to Kentia if you want to see me stammer and wiggle. Should be a fucking blast. A young woman asked me to sign her chest last year, and I refused, because I thought this might have ramifications for my blissful, state-recognized union with Brenna. I told her about it when I got back. “Can you believe that?” I said, in a way that implied that I found the whole thing highly distasteful, as opposed to super-hot. “I mean, honestly.” You know what Brenna said?
“Well, did you do it?”
And I’m like, “No. Of course not! That would have been wrong (I moved so that I was standing in front of a billowing American flag)!”
And she said, “Why not?”
Well, that’s a turn. I wonder if they sell special “breast pens,” or you can just, like, use any pen.
A bit of information: Kentia is what we have referred to colloquially as “The Gaming Ghetto” every year we go, which isn’t exactly fair to all the participants. At the far end, you often have very high-profile organizations that do back-room demos - but the rest of the place is taken up largely by entities who (it would appear) can’t afford or aren’t interested in the deafening, glamorous main halls. As such, it’s always interesting what you come up with. If I’m not mistaken, this was where we first saw Belkin’s intriguing line of Nostromo peripherals, some of which have gone on to considerable acclaim with our kind. But for every Nostromo, you’ve got like six bizarre Korean machines, big pink ones, machines that let boys pretend to be girls and wear little dresses. I’m not making that up, and I’m not casting judgement on it. I’m just saying that Korea must be an interesting place.
I’m going to sit down right now and crack out two articles today if it kills me. I do realize article-related deaths (per-capita) can’t be expressed as a number larger than zero, but I like to incorporate a sense of drama into mundane tasks. Keep an eye out, I’ll be back with my review of Gundam Vs. Zeon DX, like I’ve been saying I would for probably a month. I like it, I just haven’t set it down on paper - and I don’t want the piece hanging over me undone when my Zettai Zetsumei Toshi arrives this month. Also, I’ve got one o’ dem new Xbox controllers here, and I’ll collect my thoughts on that today as well. I mean, If I don’t die.
I went to Pork‘s birthday last Friday, which largely consisted of industry types working on game projects at Microsoft. It was fascinating. Pork mentioned as much when I was there actually, that it was interesting having a room full of those who work in it, and I had to remind him that I’m not really in anything you might call an industry. He saw fit to give me honorary status, which I appreciated, but that’s like saying that a barnacle on a seagoing freighter is somehow involved in the shipping business. It’s a hard case to make.
i think my dad’s gone crazy