I would like to welcome everyone to Fuck Day!
A couple updates on things I talked about Wednesday.
I should have known after I attempted to incite a MoonBase Commander-themed riot that something would go awry. I’ve had reports that cover the entire spectrum, from it being “sold out,” to “moved back to the twentieth,” to I Had To Kill A Man, But I Have It Now. No-one who actually owns it appears particularly displeased by it, which doesn’t shock me, but I do wish that more people had it, because that would mean more people I could systematically dismantle at the Necrowombicon. I talked to the producer yesterday, who seemed profoundly mystified by the ordeal. He may have assumed that, once the game had been completed, packaged, and shipped, the really hard part was over.
Also, the CEO of Danger contacted me about making Penny Arcade viewable on the Hiptop. Yes, Yes, now and forever yes was my reply, and hopefully we’ll talk about it today in more detail. I want to make a page that is completely customized for portable devices, it just seems like something humans and their PDAs might appreciate, and hopefully his interest will spur us into decisive action. I have these fantasies where I view the web and put up quick, inebriated posts from some swank Seattle liquor hole on my portable device. I realize now that I could have kept that to myself.
Some bizarre celestial conflux resulted in my attending what is called a “Baseball game,” the rules of which you may be familiar with. For those of you who are new to this type of thing, I would like you to imagine distant, tiny men rushing about as though pursued by beasts imaginary. I am satisfied that the game itself has enough richness and unpredictability to make the watching more than tolerable, and perhaps even pleasant. I must say, however, that the thing I enjoyed most about my sports adventure was hating our enemies. These are some saucy lads that would come here, into the very heart of Seattle, to do brazen battle with those we have chosen - I said as much during the game. I remarked that they were “Weasel-eating rat fuckers,” and also “incomprehensibly vile,” and that every facet of their manner and aspect was an affront to the good people of the Earth. We did not claim victory over the scheming Red Sox of Boston, no doubt through some East Coast trickery. But let it be known, the people of this land - or at least, this general area, which I believe to be superior in every way to the place they are from - the people of this land will not abide this rough treatment, you have provoked us sir, and we have great fleets of winged and wheeled vehicles which even now soar towards your sporting arenas like similes.
the same old fears