You probably don’t know this but I’m a golfer. I know I know, it’s hard to imagine Gabe partaking in any kind of outdoor activity even one as relaxed as golf. I took a shine to the game at a young age and my parents supported my enthusiasm with countless professional lessons. I grew up playing Washington state junior golf which had me competing in tournaments all over the northwest. As I got older I worked at a course as a ball boy (paid target) and played for the High School team. After probably ten years of intense competition I was burnt out and quit the game. I came back to it a few yeas later and realized that what I had grown tired of was the competition and that I still loved to play. While I am not able to get out as much as I’d like I still have a special place in my heart for golf.
And that is why I get so fucking mad when I see Microsoft wiping their ass with what has the potential to be the best golf franchise ever. I checked out the Links 2003 demo that came out last week and it hurt my brain. Why is it that I can go out and buy a turkey hunting game that uses the latest 3D technology but my golf game still looks the same as it did four years ago? I have been playing Links games since before it was called Links. I still have floppy disks lying around with extra courses on them. That is how far back Links and I go. Each year I keep expecting them to get with the times and make a game that doesn’t look like it belongs on a fucking 486. Maybe they don’t know about this whole 3D graphics card thing. Perhaps it’s some kind of office joke, “No one tell the Links guys about NVIDIA! Hee hee.” Oh and Microsoft, I don’t know if you’ve heard but it turns out you have your own goddamned videogame console. Links would be such a fantastic Xbox live game that it causes me physical pain to think about how it will probably never happen. I want to sit on my couch and play golf with my friends while I use the voice chat to degrade them with put downs like “Nice putt, does your husband play golf?” Tycho and I used to play Links LS multiplayer all the time and he doesn’t even like golf. In fact that son of a bitch still owes me about 80,000 dollars.
Links has the potential to be a real hit on a console but Microsoft needs to give it a face lift. This 2D shit just isn’t cutting it anymore. Take a look at Sega’s Virtua Golf. Now this is what a golf game should look like. It’s got gorgeous 3D courses and players. What it doesn’t have though, is Links attention to detail and realism. If Microsoft could deliver a game that looked as good as Virtua Golf and played like Links I’d be in golfer heaven. Add in support for Xbox live and I might never leave my couch again.