Confessions of a cable junky
I love to play video games and so I have invested a lot of time and money in making sure that I have a kick ass place to play these videogames. While working at Circuit City I had the ability to purchase all kinds of great stuff at an amazing discount. As I started to collect more and more components I realized that I enjoyed hooking up these devices nearly as much as I enjoyed actually using them. I can spend hours behind my television re-wiring speakers and untangling cables. When something stops working I get absolutely giddy because I know that it will require I get back there and start checking those connections. If it’s a really bad problem I may even have to make a run to the store to purchase a new cable!
I got hooked on Monster when I worked at Circuit City. I remember the Monster Cable rep came to our store to give all the employees a lesson on the intricacies of A/V cables. I was shocked at what I heard. Dirty power!? Fluctuations in signal strength!? Interference from UM rays!? I wanted to jump out of my chair and race home right then. I pictured all my delicate equipment sitting there, connected with substandard cables. Whenever it got slow in the store I’d wander over to the audio and video departments and gaze longingly at all the different kinds of cables Monster offered. I’d start up innocent conversations with the salespeople asking about the merits of this type of shielding or that kind of coating. “Oh, so I need the double twist interlocking nitrogen injected plastic foil if I really want to get the most out of my speakers.” I had it bad. Whenever I could afford it I’d purchase one. An RCA cable here some speaker wire there. It wasn’t much but it was better than nothing. I’d replace my old S-video cable with the new Monster one and drop in a DVD. I’d stare at the screen convinced of the quality difference. “How did I ever watch DVD’s without Monster cable?” I’d ask myself.
Tycho likes to make fun of me over my obsession with Monster but I know for a fact that I am not alone in this. I know that I am not the only person who will lay awake at night and silently rewire his system in his head. I know that there are other people out there reading this right now who won’t pay fifty dollars for a shirt but have no problem dropping eighty on a cable. I am a cable junky and I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t even try to hide it from Tycho anymore. He called me yesterday to write the comic and I told him I had just gotten a new coaxial audio cable. “Should I call you back in 20?” He asked. “Better make it an hour, I got a new surge protector too.”