Don’t Ever Say These Things
As the title makes clear, these words are not for saying. We don’t all have time daggers, let alone magic sand, in fact neither of those things are real.
The actual Prince of Persia never engages in misogyny, not even for a second! He mostly runs and jumps. This in and of itself wouldn’t be noteworthy if it weren’t some of the finest running and jumping that ever occurred on a television screen. The game is so good it’s almost impolite to release it, and there is a real chance it could discourage other developers. I’m all for that. If your game doesn’t look as good, play as good, or just feel as good against my bare skin maybe it should never see the retail shelf. There’s also the fact that the people who made it were hard-bitten bad-asses. Read this feature about the project over at Gamespot - they made the entire game on a pirate ship at sea, having legendary adventures and dealing with adversity as they learned the true meaning of friendship. They each have a special power and one of them - we know not which - is said to be a lost heir.
As a gamer, I feel constant satisfaction as I do battle in the most stylish combat system ever. But as an Internet Demagogue, it pleases me that I can recommend every version of Prince of Persia for every platform. They all look completely excellent and play right. You can make your decision based on which system you have, which controller you prefer, if you need HDTV resolutions, whatever, and not on whether or not Electronic Arts is going to fuck you up the ass for not using their preferred platform.
Gabe is extremely busy at the moment, but I know that he loves you. If he could be here, he would tell you that Links 2004 is a supernatural golf experience that is a feast for the senses. I had typed up this whole thing about the round we played yesterday, but you wouldn’t believe how incredibly boring it is to describe a round a golf. It just went on and on and on. When we were actually playing, I couldn’t breathe it was so exciting. But reading about it was like reading about crochet, which had a brief surge of popularity in the early nineties. Sadly, even innovations like the “stitch-cam” couldn’t make it palatable to a mass audience.
I have felt somewhat bad for constantly discussing Final Fantasy XI when the large preponderance of you probably couldn’t give a fuck about it one way or the other. Hopefully some portion of it has amused you. So anyway, I’m LEVEL EIGHT.
I think maybe I should go.
we’re not the fortunate ones