Join Club PA


New First 15

Watch us play and fall in love with Farming Simulator 15:

Some folks in the forums were convinced that our enthusiasm in this video is actually sarcasm. I can understand why someone might think that but I assure you, that is legit joy we are experiencing.

-Gabe out

Tycho / 11 hours ago

I spent the weekend in Spokane, which wise men call Ulk Shambol or “The Spirit Grave.”  I usually get in trouble when I talk about the town my mom lives as though it is the sort of place Lord Sauron would amass his evil armies, which is, you know, an exaggeration for comic effect.  In truth, I only felt his baleful, seeking eye once.

Many of the things that I’ve said about Spokane don’t truly represent the town.  The pustules?  Imported!  They aren’t even native pustules.  A lot of the stuff I’ve talked about were actually hallucinations, no doubt brought on by the hot lash of the accursed Vision Frond.  Now, there’s something that’s actually from there.  It’s worth noting that these whippings were directly administered by Spokane’s Hell Mayor, Satan.

I can’t tell you how pleased I was to hear that our own Mr. Gribz had taken up The Witcher, and made a commitment to witch in earnest.  On PS4, sure.  But I don’t look a gift “friend doing what I want him to” in the mouth, indeed, I’ve never investigated his mouth for any substantial period of time.  He talked some shit about Roach, but…  that’s fair.  It occurred to me as he was explaining it that I didn’t think of Roach as a digital horse.  I thought of him as a real horse that I had a real relationship with.  Sometimes he pops up in, like, an inconvenient part of the bazaar.  Sometimes he’s hanging out with other horses who are friends of his or whatever and he’s not where I need his horse ass to be.  I cut him some slack because he’s a really real horse and I’m always bossing him around.

      I’ll be curious to see if The Witcher is able to wear a groove in him the way Dragon Age did.  DA has a ton of hyperfamiliar MMO stuff that he is already weak to.  Them herbs, for example.  The Witcher has some of that, too, but not at much - and they don’t tie it all into an Ur-Currency.

What I want to know most - and it’ll require him to be in there for awhile - is if he’ll be able to sink into the emotional murk of these quests.  He’s an inveterate skipper of text.  As much as I’ve tried to train him away from this gruesome practice, the fact of the matter is that games generally do not really incentivize people to listen to that stuff.  The surprise here is that there is a ton of great work even in what would be - in any other game - complete padding, the narrative equivalent of packing material.  If someone avoids eating styrofoam, maybe that’s to their credit, even if I eat tons of styrofoam all the time on the off chance there might be a Rolo in there.  I don’t know.  Maybe I’m the one with the problem.

(CW)TB out.

Grace

I’ve been working on the characters for our Nightlight story at the end of the month. Most of the time when I sit down to draw characters, it’s little boys or guys that come out. I can draw those characters and make them feel authentic because I know them. I can tell those stories because they are my story to some degree. When I sat down to make Grace I knew it would be a challenge.

Today’s strip is 100% accurate. I wanted Grace to feel authentic. I wanted her to be a real little girl and I have zero experience with little girls. I have two boys of my own and more often than not my house is packed with 10 year old boys. Tycho gave me a hard time when I told him about all my google searching. “They just wear shoes” like everyone else he told me. I know that girls wear shoes…what I don’t know is what kind of shoes Grace wears. Does she wear flip flops? Boots with tights? I don’t know what kinds of outfits she wears. Is she a hoodie and jeans girl or does she like skirts and dresses? I don’t know how she likes to comb her hair or if she wears any jewelry.

When it comes to designing guys and little boys I can draw on a pretty vast mental library. When it comes to girls, I have to go to the internet. I end up searching for stuff like “tween girl fashion” and “little girl hairstyles”. As an artist I have a pretty ridiculous search history. I’ve searched for blood splatter, guns of all kinds, knifes, swords and pretty much any other weapon you can think of. I’ve searched for women in various specific poses and I’m pretty sure I looked for pictures of bombs at one point.

I must be on a dozen different FBI watch lists.

-Gabe out

Tycho / 3 days ago

We’re both gonna try to get out of town to varying degrees at the end of July, ahead of the Six Month World Tour that is PAX, and we’ve thought of various ways to manage that span - we’ll be gone maybe six strips or so, which is how we have come to reckon time.

We’ve got a story we’re gonna run then, a Nightlight story that gives some more information about how the setting functions, and it should be about that long if what we planned is correct.  Doing research for the awesome new character at the center of it has probably fucked up his search history forever, though.

I’ve got an embarrassment of tween girls over at my house, the neighborhood is lousy with them.  If he wants to know what’s is going on with this prized demo I can tell him.  In my experience, tween girls are always

- Making cell phones and laptops out of cardboard
- Writing or performing in bold original works
- Unlocking characters for me in Rayman Legends because it is too hard and I can’t do it.

That’s how the ones around here get down, but I’m certain that tracks globally.

I’m still walking around Novigrad in The Witcher, or some other fucking insane Witcher town, playing barkeeps over and over in Gwent until they get an irredeemably shitty hand and the AI just spins in place.  The other thing I do is steal everybody’s milk.  I am the exact opposite of a milkman.  Oh!  The last thing I do is wonder why towns in other games feel like they were created automatically by a piece of middleware (“Cornerstone DX”) and Witcher towns are actual real places somewhere that I am watching via a magic portal.

Every week they’re giving me some new thing, some greaves or a pauldron or some shit, and I don’t even see it because I’m drowning in shit to do.  They should offer the Game of the Year Edition with all the DLC on a tombstone because it will last longer than the average human lifespan.

I don’t think you’re doing it wrong if you beat it already; I envy you.  I wish that I’d been able to.  I’m not doing it this way because I’ve discovered some gourmet methodology for game consumption: this is simply how much Witch I’ve been able to fit into my beak at once.  By the time I’m done with this, really done, everyone else on Earth will be playing freemium AR MMOs on their cyber refrigerators.

(CW)TB

Tycho / 5 days ago

He legitimately wanted to know what that shit tastes like.  Not good, I would say.  Not potable in the classic sense.  Tangy in absolutely the wrong way.  You can also get XP in Destiny by, like, doing bounties and stuff.  No fluids are required.  #Lifehax

The last time I “used” it - and “used” seems like the correct term, the way you might “use” meth - it was to retain some semblance of humanity during Strip Search.  My memory of the filming process is like an archipelago, with these blobs of awareness floating very near to one another but never touching, never fashioning a true linear causality, and I don’t know how I did it the first time let alone if I could ever do it again.  The credits should say Red Bull anytime they currently say Jerry Holkins.

It’s inextricable from gaming actually, this industrial solvent, and not merely because it is leveraged to extend consciousness and produce visions in a LAN context.

We played what I would describe as “all of the” Wipeout XL.  When my cohort and I first moved in together, it was one of those things where we had to take the apartment before we could both get moved over, and so the house contained only essentials - which in our case were two sleeping bags, a small entertainment center, and a Playstation One of my favorite things is the fabrication, out of whole cloth, of brands for games.  Rockstar must be considered the gold standard here.  Actual brands have a cloying, mercenary odor when used in these simulated environments - at the same time, urban spaces don’t parse as real if they aren’t slathered with advertising.

Wipeout was decked, perhaps even stacked, with advertisements for an imaginary product called Red Bull that were so thoughtful and robust in their construction that I was completely hooked in.  The name had that amazing, vague, anything, nothing quality that I think represents the true horror of dystopia.  But it was real, it just wasn’t real here.  Imagine my surprise when I started to see advertising for this wholly unreal videogame product all over the fucking place.  It would be like looking up at the sky and seeing the memory dump from a Blue Screen of Death.

(CW)TB




What Club PA Offers

  • Ad Free Experience
  • Full Newspost & Comic RSS
  • Exclusive Content & Merch
  • Club PA Pinny Arcade Pin
  • PA Store Discounts & More!

Learn About Club PA


Follow Penny Arcade

More

New Stuff in The Store