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This is all too real. He keeps sending me Yasuke videos that are essentially physical comedy; potent Spartan kicks that lift enemies and launch them from Japan to, I assume, the deep cisterns of Sparta itself. Enemies get caught up in a gentle zephyr and dance and sway in a foul wind. It's orthogonal to the typical experience, but in these map fucking games where you gotta fuck the whole map, sometimes a change of pace might be welcome…?

I saw a video of two puppies howling, and the text 'ertop said that they were "dire wolves resurrected by man's cold god, Science." We were allowed to enjoy this moment for about five minutes before people started coming in with their facts and shit. If you listen to their Chief Science Officer, she will say they are using the "morphological species concept" which means that if it looks like a Dire Wolf and howls like a Dire Wolf, then it's a Dire Wolf. That seems weird to me. Am I dumb? Am I the stupid one, here?

Okay now we're done.

You might be as surprised as we were to learn that dreaded continuity could rear its ugly and reptilian head. Like the mudfish, it had gone dormant in the murk and has only now begun to whip and writhe.