Our tireless efforts have resulted in yet another comic, which I hope will meet with your satisfaction. Barring that, approval. If that is also not possible, I would just ask that you not throw things at me and hurt my feelings.

It is true enough that SimCity 4 inspired the strip in question, but it order to speak with any clarity on the subject I think I would have to be better at the game. I am remarkable as a mayor only insofar as I have left the most ruined lives in my wake. When things start to go south for my town, I go south, literally, far enough south that no-one has ever heard my name or anything about the failed missile tests in Sailbourne. Also, if anyone asks about the meltdown in Beringer I cock my head and look confused, as though I have only peripheral knowledge of language. Reviews of the game have, thus far, been very favorable on the whole, so if you have any interest whatsoever in the design and maintenance of urban spaces you have probably met your match. Two items come to mind.

• Perhaps it is because I started this series with another person present, but I have never enjoyed playing these games alone as much as I enjoyed playing them with someone else. The fundamentals are all there, and obviously the game is the same whether I have one, two, or five hundred chairs set in front of the machine. Sim games are, by design I'm sure, comprised of a dense, perhaps coded sequence of victories and defeats. Having another mind present lends itself to a sort of celebratory atmosphere where successes are amplified, while multiple perspectives on a given issue help resolve crises as they arise.

• I forgot the other thing. No, I've got it now. Where is the Goddamn multiplayer? I didn't expect it, I don't necessarily need it, but if you say I have it and then I go to play it and I get this:

  "Soon you'll be able to get access to the new SimCityscape feature which will let you take your game to a new level! It's not quite ready yet, as we're still putting the finishing touches on it, but check back soon!"

  Soon, huh? With an exclamation point? Now I'm twice as excited!!!!!!!

  That's, uh, unacceptable. You already missed a Christmas launch, guys. You could have kept the game in the oven for another month and you wouldn't have heard boo out of me. Now, who knows? You might hear boo. All I want from you people is for the things in the manual to actually be in the game. This isn't me being some weirdo fuckhead out on some crazy website. This is an actual customer who ferried your product home clutched like a childhood treasure. Now meet me fucking halfway, you cocks.

(CW)TB out.

not moles, crows, or ants are quite like you