The ersatz Reader Appreciation Month continues, apparently, with the return of
href="http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/04/07">Twisp and Catsby
. I'm not
exactly sure what happened, but at some point we must have realized that we have a penchant
for creating characters that resonate with people and then promptly forgetting they exist.
href="http://www.gamespot.com/pc/rpg/everquest2/preview_6092895.html">recent Everquest 2
is designed to staunch the flow of possible defection from their own monstrous
timesink to a timesink of slightly more cunning
manufacture. It has never stopped being fashionable to ridicule Everquest, jokes of this
kind are always well received - but I do respect the lineage. It's been out for a long
while, seen many expansions, and retained a large playerbase through the use of Pavlovian
conditioning techniques. It is a game so addictive that you will let your baby die while you
work toward your next level. There's just something pure about that.
I also have to wonder if these guys are seriously thinking about some of these screenshots
before they release them. God dammit publishers, we have offered time and time again to look
at your screenshots and tell you if they are offensive in some way before you expose us to
their toxins. This would cost you a hundred thousand dollars if you went to a consultant,
they'd look them over and then they'd tell you they were all great and hold open their palm
for the money. One company has taken us up on this offer, and saved themselves a world of
grief. When you put out a shot like this
one, I just shake my head. We gave id what they deserved with their flying jetpack head
devils, but to that shot's credit it did not include any fantasy hermaphrodites. Gamespot's
quote beneath this shot is "You're In Their World Now, And It Looks Fantastic." First,
that's one of two times you directly quote the slogan of the company without irony. I need
you not to do that. Second, no it doesn't. Lest you think I'm being selective, here is the
entire screenshot
archive. You've got a few shots that would have passed muster, and a few shots
distributed like the red constellation of a herpes infection. Gamespot might be referring to
the spell effects, which aren't themselves offensive - but they certainly couldn't have been
referring to the shot right over the quote.
The issue with the shots isn't technical - this is an engine that flexes the juice in DirectX
9 in ways that we don't often get to see. A few nice landscapes and bump maps are plainly
visible, one could think to themselves that this is something they could gaze upon without
injury. The issue is a grievous imagination deficit. They look as though every original
element has been painstakingly stripped away, until reaching some predetermined, inoffensive
generic void. On technical merits, the engine easily bests WoW. There's no contest. On
vision, on the manifestation of artistic vision scale which I have just invented, you can't
even see World of Warcraft from where they are. World of Warcraft is in a harvest field
wading through golden, chest-high wheat. They are in a cold place shivering as they
wait for a morning that never comes.
(CW)TB out.
color="#ffffff">i'm sorry it's like this
