I'm determined not to think very hard about these airplane parts! Mork was telling me that you can change a plane a little at a time, and if the change doesn't go beyond a certain percentage, you don't have to register it as a new plane. Like a Ship Of Theseus kinda thing. Are they making these changes in mid-air? Is that why twisted sheets of metal, hydraulic fluid, landing gear, and literal doors are being shed as the plane itself shrugs and groans?!? I'm writing this in the airport! Can't wait to board.

My flight got a little goofy, so I materialized in Boston at midnight on Wednesday before the show - if you felt an icy shiver, it might have been the trailing edge of my dark cloak upon you. In the manner of a distant flag, I have made a plan to have something to look forward to - even as the sun hides its face. That is to say: a quick round of Samurai Battles literally as soon as I get to the hotel.

The last few shows, even down to Australia (!), I've been hauling a significant case filled with various Action Eunuchs From Space or Mean, Yucky Bugs (also from space) along with various pieces of ill-used architecture for them to clamber around upon and brood. I'm operating a kind of grimdark CrossFit for these doomed creatures and it's global in reach.

I considered doing it again, but I only had time at Unplugged for about Half of One Game, which means I was hauling around a bunch of shit for not much, while also subjecting my treasured dollies to all manner of potential harm. When Eric and I were discussing what to bring down, we don't mean games broadly - we mean wargames specifically.

It should be said: when I typed "wargames" above, my phone autocorrected it to Warhammer. That's not, like, a hundred percent wrong. They are more or less synonymous in the space. Certainly, at retail; you could be forgiven for thinking that two versions of Warhammer plus their more condensed progeny make up the entirety of the hobby.

But there are other games. You could do much worse than Commands & Colors, wherever you enter the system, but it's hard to say you could do much better. We're playing Samurai Battles, but I suspect many people get their start with Commands & Colors through Memoir '44 - which you might be forgiven for thinking was a boardgame. Arguably, Stratego trained me as a child in the way I should go, and when I was old I did not depart from it. There is a lot of wargaming hiding in plain sight these days particularly on Kickstarter, where rules perverts and miniature perverts find common cause. I should establish that these miniature perverts are, more often than not, regular size. But their dark attentions are focused on a tiny, sculpted world, which (as inhabitants of the regular-sized world) we must consider a blessing.

Big Wargames where you fill a table with dudes you painted are always going to be something I want to do. I like all the little stories they generate down there. There is no way to play them without generating several movies worth of smouldering conflict, and I have several armies with which to do that. But as part of my Coot Era, which is drawing nearer every day, Commands & Colors emphasizes a couple things that the more tournament oriented Warhammer products don't really dwell on. Specifically: fog of war, rendered here by the fact that you can't just do whatever you want whenever you want. It models the chain of command, as is common outside the bigger games, and that means imperfect control of the field. The other thing it does is render morale in the most horrifying way I've ever seen, where units can break and spread that terror like a disease. The fact that the box contains everything you will ever need to play it is also quite alien compared to the hobby space.

We're playing through the forty included historical missions that ease you into the mechanics one by one while you learn about these kick-ass, fuckin'... Historical personages? And they're all asymmetrical setups? Shogun has only stoked the ardor. The fact that you can set up, play a round and tear down in maybe an hour is pretty fucking wild also.

Oh! And don't forget, if you are languishing at home but demand to be dressed head to toe by our design department: The Show Store is here!

(CW)TB out.