Part Two of our Bungie Rematch EX Ultra Hyper Edition can be found here.

We were way too late for planking, didn’t have a chance to get in on that pastime, but fear not. We’ve got a head-start on the next thing.

I’m sure that many of you are familiar with the exploits of our friends Kris and Scott. Their individual comics are decent, their Blamimations are a huge hit on PATV, and their appearances on our show have always been well received. Recently they got it into their heads that rather than being bit players in our show they should be the stars of their own. They spoke with Vantage Point the camera crew that has been filming season 2 of Penny Arcade: The Series and together they hatched a plan for “Kris and Scott’s Scott and Kris show”.

The truth is that I am the one with the Dentist problem; I haven’t been to the dentist since just before the first Precipice game. The experience was so traumatic that I decided to transform my mouth into a kind of reserve. It has a wild, untamed beauty. Occasionally my gums recede a bit, exposing the nerve. But this only makes me feel more alive.

The hostility and madness of a PC tech support forum recalls the iniquity of a prison asylum. Specifically, the one from The Silence Of The Lambs, where people are howling and trying to jack off on you, but there is something in that godless crevice you desperately require so you have to go into the very opposite of Heaven and prostrate yourself before the very opposite of God.

Part One of our rematch against the infernal, warlockin' sonsabitches at Bungie is now available. (CW)TB

Typically games based on the interplay of classes restrict your weapon choices, but this is something they chose not to do with Brink. Weapons are gated by your survivability and mobility, via one of the three Body Types.  This means that you can set up a huge Medic made of bricks who hauls around a minigun, and nobody can say boo about it. I thought this might help me invigorate my fallen allies; one could also use it to become an undying warbringer.

Here is everything else i needed to tell you today:

Gabriel and I will be attending a bachelor party so intense that I am told the B and the P should be capitalized. I am also told that its shape will differ radically from the norm, and I’m glad, because the model for events like this doesn’t exactly invigorate me.

LoadingReadyRun - Yes!  The Desert Bus people! - debut their new show on PATV today, a news digest vehicle they call Checkpoint.  

I can still mount a token resistance, usually, but the reality is that seeing movies is a way to sit in a dark room and eat sugar for two full hours somewhere that my tubercular larvae can’t penetrate.

Crisis averted! Hopefully.

Gabriel has a hunger for DeviantArt, and maybe even deviant art, or at any rate an appetite for the art of deviants; I have been made to absorb more than one cache of unique offerings on his assertion that I have to “come and look at this,” because it’s “so weird,” but when I go over there a pool of cooling saliva has already gathered on the surface of his Wacom, and it is connected to his mouth by a hair-thin column of glistening spit.

Having committed themselves to in absolute terms to the replication of Blizzard’s back catalogue, it’s no wonder that Gameloft found their way to World of Warcraft eventually. The shocking part is that it actually kind of works.

I saw a review of an XBLIG called Solve It over at Joystiq, a game with a tile-laying mechanic where the tiles represent a kind of "program."  It's probably better if you just play it, or examine this Kongregate experience entitled light-Bot, but if these kinds of things turn your crank you should get your mitts on a copy of RoboRally.  The other two are perfectly good puzzle games, but when you've had that experience in a competitive context they feel lonely by comparison.  

It only does pre-orders: