With two analog sticks, two triggers, a d-pad, four face buttons, two cameras, and front and back trackpads, it's entirely possible that you will be speaking in ASL - inadvertently - every time you play a game. It might do to bone up on some of the basics, actually, maybe with a focus on what you don't want to sign. There are still vital questions to be asked of the device, in ASL or English, and there are answers nestled in today's installment.
Dickwolves
It’s true that we have decided to remove the Dickwolves shirt from the store. Some people are happy about this but a lot more of you are upset. You think we’ve caved into to pressure from a vocal minority and you’re not entirely wrong. let me at least break down why we did it though.
I Am Learning So Much About Shoes You Guys
For example, collating your feedback thus far, we have arrived at a low-cut, sleek skate-type shoe with a "cupsole" style "outsole." The side (or "quarter") as well as the "heel counter" are broad and available for whatever art or expression we collectively choose. I am suggesting a single, giant semicolon, but I'm open to suggestions. Materials for these portions can be combined (with suede, canvas, or leather being the most common). They're suggesting no more than three colors for the raw construction.
New Penny Arcade Television
Bedevilment
I'm spending more time on the PC than I have in a very long time, and it's a policy I can't help but maintain - my Steam list is full of orders so pre they can't be loaded in advance, like The Witcher 2, or the second Dragon Age, or Dawn of War II: Retribution, all of which are little more than file paths which redirect to the untamed future.
Inner Wealth
If it is possible to be happier with the opening sequence of Dead Space 2, I'm not entirely sure how that would happen. Having returned from a jaunt to Dante's Inferno, EA's skunkworks imprint Visceral Games isn't fucking around in any way, shape, or form. Many reviews laud the audio specifically, and they should - I'm experiencing it in what must approach the optimal fashion, hearing every sound in absolute terms, seated in the unrelenting dark afraid for my life.
We Need Enforcers!
PAX East is shaping up to be a huge show this year and it looks like we could use some more Enforcers. If you’d like to join a truly amazing group of volunteers you can find the application right here. Once you’ve filled it out go ahead and mail it to klindsay@penny-arcade.com.
A New World Record
This strip is less true than the one previous, because as much as we might be curious about getting our armies on some random table and smashing them together, I'm not sure we have it in us just yet. I'm not certain I'd feel entirely prepared until I had played n+1 games, where n equals the amount of games I could reasonably play during the rest of my life.
PATV
Unless you have a note from your doctor, you better go watch the latest PATV episode.
Imagine My Surprise
It's all true. I showed it to Gabriel, against my own better judgement, who quickly made it his wallpaper. Shortly thereafter he brought in several unauthorized "consultants" from the office to determine her identity (the results weren't good) and I've seen a couple home screens now which also feature the image in question. So... I guess that's cool.
Shooz
I mentioned it before, but we are starving for data. Well, maybe not starving, because we have a lot. But we want more! If you have any evocative footwear revelations, check our project out on the Facebooks or send us the emails to that effect.
New Penny Arcade Television
Do you want more Ledo? How about Ix? Well, you can get your fill of both in Episode 2.
The Five Stages Of Grief
Gabriel's World of Warcraft account got hacked, which (as a practical matter) means that this guild got hacked, and the deep vault of its guild bank tranched, and his character left to shiver nude in some digital hedge. Panel One was a literal conversation, and it's a little spooky to think of some malevolent force in control of your character. I'm talking about something separate from the acts they commit, which tend toward the upper bound of nefarious. I mean that, for anyone else logged on, it was Gabe. Did they greet this monster?
Dickerdoodle Winners
Sorry for the delay but I have finally chosen this year's Dickerdoodle winners. After sorting through hundreds of entries I believe this is my favorite:
Where The Toys Are, Part Three
So, provided that you hold assertions A and B to be true, where A and B equal
Precipice Epilogue
Here it is, the last chunk of Episode 3 - Chapter Twenty-Two, Epilogue For A Universe. I'm very sad to be done with it. But I'm not done fully: I'm going to do a Director's Cut, replete with notes and so forth, and more to read. But I'm going to let it rest for a little bit, and come back to it.