Even if there weren't an organism who relied absolutely on me every moment of its existence, I still don't know if I'd be playing WoW - and it's not just because some notes on the new patch drove me away.  I feel terrible about it, because the guilds that are rocking Dark Iron are filled with exactly the sort of people I'd hate to let down.  When the expansion hits, hopefully there'll be a progression beyond sixty that doesn't almost necessarily involve multi-hour raids of escalating size.  I know that's where the game goes, and I'm simply in no hurry to bring my character to a point where I no longer really enjoy it.  I've been trying to figure out why I roll new characters every time I get into that mid forties/fifties range, a condition I have come to refer to as Altoholism.  I guess that's why.

Are you enjoying your three-sixties, those of you who obtained them?  Are those of you opposed to the machine on some grave matter enjoying the stories about hardware failures and overheating?  Oh, precious Internet.  You are just as I left you.

My mind has been seized by a single thought, whenever I am allowed to have one uninterrupted:  I know precisely which game should be brought to Xbox Live Arcade, preferably for both Xboxen, to a place where it could actually get the kind of respect it deserves.

Of course, I speak of Moonbase Commander. 

There's a demo available, if you never played it - the publisher simply wasn't serious about projecting the message that Moonbase Commander was one of the most refined exercises in pure strategic amusement ever, and my own meager efforts to force the game upon you were more than likely swallowed by the din of your Web.  A game where each of four players tries to build (and destroy) robotic networks, it was a pet project that after years of iterative gameplay testing saw a retail version.

The main site for the game isn't even up anymore, God only knows that dark hole they've stuffed it in.  Well, stuff no more.  The game is done.  In fact, it's not only done, it's perfect.  I think that it could become legendary with Live pricing and matchmaking prowess, the sort of thing that would really expand the sort of experiences people believe Arcade delivers.  

Plus, you know, Moonbase Commander.

(CW)TB out.

frontalot's destitute

I have a few moments here while the prince slumbers, so I resolved some of the atrocious spelling in that first entry.  I would blame it on the amount of sleep I had, but I haven't really had any. 

Preoccupation with my heir has caused me to neglect my annual cheerleading for Child's Play, not that it appears to have affected the "take."  I must say that the meaning of it has really shifted for me in the last couple days, a shift in magnification I would say.  Where I might have seen a young man or woman who might be served by the toys and games of our heritage under frightening circumstances, I now see the parents one level above for whom any improvement in that child's stay would constitute a profound blessing.  

We've added new hospitals to the Child's Play page, so if you haven't given yet please take a look and see if we've been able to set up shop somewhere close to you.  I'll let you know what I picked up for Seattle Children's on Monday.

(CW)TB

Gabriel may have oversold my abilities, somewhat.  I'm exceedingly grateful that he was able to deliver yet another comic strip, and I'm grateful to you as well for your patience while I have been welcoming my unbelievably beautiful baby son.

I.

Craven sham that it is, typically the vile consortium of formula manufacturers and department store child photographers  has already chosen the Baby of the Year by September, leaving their despicable agents to go on evil vacations or whatever it is they do.  But there are times when a spoiler baby, or spiele-katzen, crops up 'round November or so, and a deep fracture forks up their trained facade.

Elliot Jacob Holkins is just such a baby.

II.

The doctor loosens his white coat.  Is he too hot?  He seems uncomfortable.

As seen on television, a row of X-Rays are held up to an illuminated wall with a series of clips.  He removes what I think might be a Bic Ultratip from his pocket and begins to tap different parts of each, in a poignant way, hand shaking slightly so that each tap actually ends up being two or three distinct sounds.  Tap tip tap. 

Tap tip.

"You can see here, where the dendrites are joined," he says, in his bullshit doctor language. 

I don't really see anything, I tell him.

"Your son, " he says, hesitant, "is a Snugglebug."

I sit down in a chair, which I assume is his own chair, and he sits in the chair that I probably should have sat in if I gave a fuck about the medical hierarchy. 

I ask him what it means. 

"It means that he is the cutest, the wutest little Snugglebug in the whole wide world," he recites, robotic, a white-clad bipedal dictionary.

Are there treatments?  I mean, is there some kind of, I dont know, cream?

"No," he says, piercing my heart.   "You will need to cuddle him daily."

He is quiet for a moment.

"Indeed, you may even need to huggle him."

III. 

He tells me that his own son, Gabriel, was born on "nine, nine, ninety-nine," the anniversary of the Dreamcast launch.  He stands before me on "eleven, twenty-two, two-thousand five," which he admits doesn't have the same ring, but he fairly exerts himself pounding home the significance. 

It's the launch day of the 360. 

I dimly recall that there is such a thing as a "three sixty," and that it is a thing which can be launched.  So I'm told.

"I know you don't believe in a higher power, or whatever.  But God damn, man," he spits, exasperated.  "Come on."

IV.

I am not trying to jostle for primacy over the birth act, the utter valor of which is indelible - I'm fairly certain the credit is going to the right people.  There is, however, a parallel experience that I never hear much about, something amazing and profound about the helplessness, the desperation of events which are perhaps a million long miles beyond your control.  I just want to find other fathers and, looking at them across the aisles in the grocery store, hold my right fist aloft.  I am with you.

Let me suggest that the hilarious episode of Three's Company which depicts a human birth is not sufficient to prepare a man for the genuine article.  I can tell you that Brenna managed this shit like some kind of fucking Amazon warrior priestess.  I told her that she probably just had indigestion, even when she was shuddering over a holiday display at Fred Meyer.  So it's good that somebody had their shit together.

They handed him to me, eventually.  Not first, now - that's not done.  The psychological weight of him nearly shattered my legs.  This must have been how Ultra Magnus felt, I thought, when Optimus Prime gave him the Matrix of Leadership.

I'm kidding.

I very nearly buckled.  Not struck dumb, but struck, as a string might be struck, into sound:

It's me, I said.  I'm the one who sang to you.

Wired has a really nice article up about the Elemenstor Saga. I hate to break character and admit that this entire thing is a ruse, but I have to congratulate the contributors to the Wiki. You guys have really created some incredible stuff there. I am especially fond of the Wizbits theme song MP3.

Tycho had some business to take care of yesterday. Nothing bad I assure you, but it will keep him out of the office for a couple days. I was there working on page six of our Prince of Persia comic and eating imported Canadian candy bars (such is the life of a web comic creator) when I realized that it was a strip day. Fear immediately gripped my heart as it suddenly occurred to me that I would need to make the strip myself.

Tycho mentioned the concept of Gamer Cards earlier. The idea is that a sort of record is kept that lists all the games you play and the progress you’ve made in each. I’m not 100% sold on the idea myself but I have to admit its execution is pretty cool.

Spending all day with someone who has a radically different metabolism is a catalyst for conflict. Outside of the occasional Pocky or Hello Panda, I believe the last time I saw him eat something was a single square of Caramello. This would have been in '97.

Sorry about that.  We're still playing around with the update interface, and it recently got a significant new innovation:  The FCK Editor.  We've just had a bare entry field before, and I was apparently not yet ready for its awesome power.  Essentially, it can transform any field into a full word processor, with spell check, keyboard shortcuts, and the like.  I've been using EditPlus since we started the site, so not having to manually enter every piece of code is something I wasn't quite ready for.

<HTML> even creeps into my personal correspondence, these days.  And, at night, it haunts my dreams.

(CW)TB

Gabe never gets out exactly why he's running a petition around his neighborhood in the comic, but I've got space to do it here.  If I had to say, I'd put it like this:  Final Fantasy XII is an insult to a once proud franchise and to the people who have made it so.  I think that gets it across.

With the extended delays of the title, I had imagined that the rough trade they received at the hands of almost every person who saw it had sunk in and they had begun to realize the intense shame they'd bring upon themselves by continuing in this direction.  That's not what happened.  They're Final Goddamn Fantasy, they don't have to worry about larger industry trends toward approachability and away from turn or phase based combat.  They create trends, like a massive stellar body distorts local space. 

This isn't just slavish devotion to tradition - the fact of the matter is that the system they had works better.  It's more explicit regarding game events, and the player has greater control.  You don't have to take my word for it - Dragon Quest VIII is awesome, and includes the same demo I played.  There are two combat modes, the "Wait" mode being slightly less bad but not what you might call "good."  Give it a whirl, the whole thing is trash.  If for some reason you do enjoy it - and I've certainly done my best here to lower expectations - then rejoice.  You must be the person they're trying to appeal to.  It'll feel good for a while, until they determine that mass market annual "footy" titles are where it's at.  Then you and I can sit together in a cafe and talk about those good times.

I've had a chance to play a ton of 360 stuff on a "press" box, no steel case unfortunately, but the rest of it is the same.  I'll go into what I've seen either today or Monday, before the official launch in any case - but I do have one tip that will help you get set up with a minimum of fuss if you're already a Live subscriber and you're just upgrading your box.

The procedure for moving your existing Live account over to the 360 is more onerous if you have not "linked" your Gamertag to a Passport.  Yes, Microsoft Passport.  This is one of the ways in which they "get you."  It does enable some interesting online functionality, but the main reason I'd suggest it is that you'll just enter your passport account/password and be done with it.  The launch definitely has some high notes in it, but the sports/ports ratios do leave me a little cold. 

(CW)TB out.

I used to be a big fan of the Wizbits cartoon series when I was younger. I went through a phase a few years ago where I was buying up old cells and model sheets from the show off of eBay. I hadn’t looked at that stuff in years but all the action going on over at the ELotH:TES wiki got me excited. I pulled out some old boxes from storage and found a bunch of original Wizbits artwork.

Something I keep forgetting to mention is the multiplayer portion of Metroid Prime Pinball. After the game came out, we almost immediately ended up at Blizzcon, so I had quite a lot of uninterrupted time on flights there and back to play it.

Child’s Play this year is going incredibly well. To date we've raised just over $100,000. All kinds of companies are stepping up to help out Child’s Play this year. One of them, Smugmug.com has helped us out with Child’s Play in the past by hosting our CP photos. This year they are going above and beyond. Smugmug is offering to match match every cash and gift donation from a Smugmug customer with the same amount of cash themselves, up to $10,000. You can read all the details here on Don’s blog.

With Goblet of Fire hitting on Friday, I guess we couldn't resist. I enjoyed the fifth book while I was reading it, at least, I thought I did, but I couldn't tell you a single thing that happened between the hard covers of my collector's edition with wand. The Sixth Book (or tome, or whatever) got me back on board.

I know it's been requested.

So many dedicated Epic Legends fans have come out of the woodwork to help fill out the PBWiki, and it's really amazing to see the enthusiasm with which they've dedicated themselves to the task.

Um... Yeah.