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Wicked, Evil, And Cruel

It's such a delight when people erupt in my Twitter feed with photographs of the official Acquisitions Incorporated book - either their own copy, or of the copies that have arrived in the faraway places they live, like Scotland or Australia. Obviously those places are not far away from those places. Scotland is (in fact) very close to Scotland - so close as to be indistinguishable. But they are very far from where the book was written, and printed, and a great journey was required to get them there.

Mixology

Gabe hung out on Mixer for a bit this weekend, trying to figure out the deal. I think that we'd been content to say that it was "Another Twitch," whose utility used to be an edge case, but I'd like to know there's someplace else to go if they aren't gonna take shit seriously.

Dota Overlord

Coming to grips with what Dota Urnderlerds (and by that token the Auto genre in general) represents is a fucking trip. I think we have been wrong on virtually every point fully twice over. Luckily, I have been there at every step to adjust Michael, to perfect him, like an orthodontist for the towers of his brain.

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Father and Son Game Jam

I’m not a streamer guy. I don’t like having a camera pointed at my drooling grimace for hours while I stumble through a game. With that said, I am very excited about a stream I have planned for tomorrow. Gabe (who is 14 now) has been learning Python at school and decided he wanted to try and re create Space Invaders as a summer project. He asked me if I could make some artwork for it and pretty soon we were designing a game. Our game is called Too Many Doves and features one Jim Darkmagic. Gabe went to work on the code and I drew him some placeholder artwork so he could test getting images into the game. After a night of work (almost all by him) we had what I’d call a functional prototype.

Ride Or Die

Apparently they gave "the doc" a month's suspension, which is… illuminating? We ask the question in the strip: what, precisely, is required to see something akin to action. They couldn't make it a week, obviously. I think they recognized that would be the same as revelling with him in that reeking pisshole. There are surprisingly few levers with which to shape streamer behavior, though; it's either "hated exile" or Scion Seated At The Right Hand Of God. YouTube has a few knobs in this department, but YouTube has its own problems - I'd never recommend it as an alternative, and it's an incredibly turbulent place to even attempt business. I'm just saying they've been around longer and thus have invented other Rituals of Binding for the wracked and leathery creatures they summon from Beyond the Veil.

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The Hollow Ones

There's a term called Programmer Art that generally elicits a chuckle when used in the proper context. It's not really an insult, but it does recognize and bring to the fore the idea that people who are good at one thing aren't necessarily good at other things, which is just… true. It's probably not worth getting too mad about that. I've met a lot of people who aren't even good at one thing; I've only been alive for forty years or so but in my own experience competence is not the norm.

Invisible Touch

Nintendo letting somebody have The Legend Of Zelda to just… play around in probably deserves its own rhetorical excursion, but this is of a piece with the Switch being such a natural home for indies anyway. On a couple recent releases, I've seen game launch on the Switch first - or launch on Switch and PC. It's a shocking result, but I think it tells you where indies are making money today.

Compromise

There is a streamer who goes by the name DrDisrespect and if you follow this sort of thing at all you know his deal. As a professional asshole myself, I see the waves of opprobrium generated by this cadre perhaps in a unique context.

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Density 2

The first quarter, round March - the period this website has referred to as Gamer Christmas - has become so suffused with content it may be impossible to reach minimum safe distance. Ultimately it's about science, which for most modern people is about science fiction, which is itself about balls of flame and ships drawn inexorably toward their expanding maw - the cosmic inverse of creation.

Stadioid

I completely understand why publishers and platform holders like streaming - they'd love it if you couldn't own anything. If you want a vision of the future, imagine a freemium game played on a streaming platform forever. Eventually one of these Beasts Spoken Of In The Book Of Revelation is going to coin the term "Streamium" and it will be like horn that signals the Earth's final hour.

Bottle Message

By Tycho – June 7, 2019

Whenever I see a "leaked video" with "confidential" across it filmed shakily a couple feet from the screen, especially around E3 I think a very specific thing. I think that if they turned the phone around, or simply changed to the front facing camera, we would see the lead designer.