There's a new Alternate Reality Game spinning up for Halo 3, God Damn them - God Damn them to hell. I know perfectly well that I am being subjugated by a sophisticated marketing effort, that the best one can accomplish in these games is to get a real good look at the teeth before the mouth closes around you. I type this even as the rabbit holes stand open in two other windows. I don't presume to speak for the entire species, but there is something about secrets that does bit the mind.
Ever since I closed the lid of my DS, sealing the Pokemon within and stunting their development, I have been expelled from polite society. I think Gabriel might have imagined that we would engage in furious battles during Recess, out on the Big Toy, until the bell rang for lunch. For a time, I hoped to take on a coaching role for other players, wise with my years (or perhaps weeks) of Pokemon husbandry - but Gabriel exclaimed that "a Pokemon trainer's strength comes from within," which I assume means not from me. Through some strange reversal of polarity, I am being ostracized for not befriending electric mice. It is a world dipped - perhaps even double dipped - in madness.
Months after it was necessary, Sony has thrown their blogging hat into the ring... of blogging. I've heard people compare it to Larry Hryb/Major Nelson's blog, but with a rotating "crew" of bloggers - like a public relations version of the Wu Tang Clan - it's more like Microsoft's Gamerscore blog. Which, coincidentally, I never read because it is run by a rotating "crew" of bloggers, like a public relations version of the etcetera etcetera. The mental image is that of a corporate hydra, the brand seared and scabbed upon its breast.
The Nerdcore rap crew Dual Core just released a new album. You can hit their site and listen to a piece of all seventeen tracks. I highly recommend the song "First One's Free" and not just because it's all about Penny Arcade.
-Gabe out
I get weird mail all the time. I thought this exchange was especially bizarre. Keep in mind I have no fucking clue who this guy is or what he's talking about.
from: Landon ****
to: gabriel@penny-arcade.com
date: Jun 12, 2007 10:47 PM
subject: hey
FUCK YOU
from: gabriel@penny-arcade.com
to: Landon ****
date: Jun 12, 2007 10:55 PM
subject: Re: hey
no fuck you
from: Landon ****
to: gabriel@penny-arcade.com
date: Jun 12, 2007 11:05 PM
subject: Re:hey
well done. i absolutely hate you.
from: gabriel@penny-arcade.com
to: Landon ****
date: Jun 12, 2007 11:24 PM
subject: Re: hey
I will cry myself to sleep tonight on a huge pile of money.
from: Landon ****
to: gabriel@penny-arcade.com
date: Jun 12, 2007 11:55 PM
subject: please read and reply to...thanks.
well dude...i'm gonna take what you told me for the truth. i'm now loggin'
off my buddies account (he didn't want me to, but he finally left so now i'm
gonna), cuz i want to trust you. i feel that although you "hacked" my
account, you were the genius who made the program work and were also the
genius who figured out how to make it possible to have a great chance of
getting away with it, lol. therefore, as a person who respects the shit
outta someone with a brain, i feel that i owe you at LEAST the respect of
trusting you one last time and giving you a chance to show your true worth
by being a man of his word.
again, kudos to you for what you have accomplished. bill gates should watch
the fuck out for you, lol. you're a genius...and you definitely are a master
of your work.
Landon (aka Maltidian Versaille in Guild Wars)
When I'm on the fence about advertising a game, I just don't do it - but this is a case where the fence I was on had another fence on top of it, and I was sitting on that one.
Essentially, I'm not sure if we want to advertise for Casinos. Actually, I'm fairly certain we don't. But Skill City isn't a Casino exactly, since it's not based on games of chance, though it does allow you to play games similar to Tetris or Puzzle Fighter or Bookworm for money. You don't have to - you can also play their games for free, or for the game's internal currency. In any case, I turned down the ads - but at the same time it seems like the sort of thing some readers may be interested in. I imagine that as time passes, we'll see more original games like Antskrieg hit the service, but for now there are many familiar faces.
(CW)TB
It hasn't become official policy, yet. But with Gabriel's afternoon whiled away with kids' movie tie-in title Surf's Up - followed by a raucous Pokemon Tournament that saw his Monferno victorious - well, it would be easy to come away with that impression. It's a dangerous genre, games for young people, as it's practically defined by cramped budgets and shoehorned licenses. It is also much more unassuming, much lighter fare, and doesn't delight in abusing the player as more "sophisticated" games do. I suppose that has its own appeal.
It's hard to believe but we're really only a couple months away from PAX 2007. We'll actually be choosing our 20 Omeganaughts on the 15th of this month. That's this week so if you want a shot at being in the Omegathon, you need to register for the show by this Friday. As usual Omeganaughts should expect to have all their gaming skills put to the ultimate test in a three day no holds barred battle Royal cage match. Well we don't have a cage, no one has to fight in a cage. All the other stuff is true though. The gamer that manages to survive will be rewarded with a trip for two to the Tokyo Game Show and $5,000 is spending money. Not bad for three days work.
I know it sounds silly but Surf's Up is actually a really fun game. I know it's supposed to be for kids but we picked it up last week and had a blast with it here in the office. It's sort of like Mario Kart meets Tony Hawk on the ocean...with penguins. You have this super fun track out on the ocean with crazy jumps, rails to grind and obstacles. The entire time your trying to navigate this track a massive wave is devouring it. So your racing your opponents and the wave and trying to do tricks all at the same time. I don't know if it sounds as good when I explain it. It's just a really fun game and I recommend you find a way to give it a try.
The game actually came with a ticket for the movie so we took Gabe to see it this weekend. I highly recommend the film as well. We sawShrek 3 recently and that felt like a bunch of voice actors and animators collecting a paycheck. It was one of the dullest movies I've ever seen. Surf's up on the other hand was a blast. Visually it was a real stunner and packed with absolutely beautiful animation. It was also crazy funny. Sometimes when you watch an animated movie it feels like all the actors sat in a room by themselves and recorded all their lines independently of one another. In Surf's Up it felt like all the actors were in the same room and they all had a script but it wasn't a big deal. They were all improvising and playing off each other. I haven't laughed that hard at an animated movie since Ice Age. If you have kids don't miss it and if you don't have kids grab the DVD when it drops.
-Gabe out
This has been simmering on some tertiary heat source for awhile, and it may be time to serve it. When a classic game is re-released for digital delivery, by what criteria are they being reviewed?
We grabbed a couple demos yesterday afternoon to see if we were missing anything, specifically Tenchu Z and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, and came away with the expected comic materials. I think Tenchu Z may get explored in a more robust fashion in Monday's strip, but after the loading is complete the demo flashes up one of those screens that is completely grown over with control instructions. It wasn't even an especially bad one, and there are very, very bad ones, like the one in the demo for StarFire Saga V: Laserion. It was merely an assault on the mind, paralyzing in its way.
Keek directed me to a radical (and potentially even "badical") article on BioShock over at Gamers Wif Jobs. I've been wondering about the recent PR shift the game has gone through, because I don't just keep hearing that it is a "shooter first," but I keep hearing specifically that it is a "kick-ass shooter," even though it's a game where you learn about Objectivism underwater while helping jealous composers get revenge. I've never doubted that the game will be great, by whatever road it reaches that greatness. The recent WWE slant just had me curious about whether I'll be able to perform a suplex in-game.
You may not think that is important, but it is totally important.
(CW)TB
Obviously there's a lot of you guys out there. A few million easy. I try very hard not to use the site for evil but occasionally I can't help it. This is one of those times.
On June 29th the iPhone drops. I know I know it's only 2G but let's all just agree that I'm a gadget whore and move on. I've spoken to a couple people at Cingular stores and what I'm hearing is that I have a better chance of giving birth this month than of getting my hands on one of these phones. So I'm turning to you. I'm not asking you to kill or riot (yet). I just need to know what I should do if I really want to buy one of these on the 29th.
I could also use some help obtaining a Beautifly. I understand I need a Wurmple to evolve into a Silcoon. However that takes place at level 7 from what I understand and I can't seem to find a Wurmple lower than 10 or 11. I thought I might need to breed a baby Wurmple but then I still run the risk of it evolving into a Cascoon rather than a Silcoon. Am I on the right track with the breeding idea and if so is there anything I can do to ensure I get a Silcoon? Also I am a huge pussy.
-Gabe out
There are more substantive (read: impenetrable) tabletop wargames, but you can have a lot of fun with Clix if you are able to stop buying them long enough to actually play. Halo ActionClix have been announced for awhile, but when we sat down to write the strip yesterday we were looking over some pics of the final models and felt confident that we had discovered today's topic.
Metahumans, as the RNACorp Sensitivity Guide suggests, present "opportunities" that sometimes appear to be "challenges." They have unique contributions, often sharp contributions to the abdomen, that can bring value to shareholders.
Fabulous, life changing products are now available in our store. I won't bore you with the testimonials - stalled, wasted lives virtually resuscitated but the power of our healing dorkwear. I will simply present you with irresistible garb and then draw back, my noble purpose at a close. 
And, also
(CW)TB
The comic started out as a style guide for forums, similar to the recent style guide for gaming journalists - but while we were looking over the Lair boards at GameFAQs, we found that material already in place there was deluxe in every respect. We simply took the opportunity to elevate it.