When good things happen to me, it is hard to enjoy them because I am sure I must suffer an equal amount at some future time. I don't know where this idea came from. I don't actually believe that there exists a comprehensive spiritual physics. All the same, this imagery is so vivid that it must have some origin beyond my transient mortal equipment: a blinding God of polished brass, one hand heavy with my blessings, the other exquisite palm raised in imminent violence.
