As the title makes clear, these words are not for saying. We don't all have time daggers, let alone magic sand, in fact neither of those things are real.

Like a prophet, I foretold the arrival of the Omega Hare - literally, "The Hare Who Ends." But when you get on a roll out there in East Ronfaure, and you're about twenty times larger than the beast in question, you might neglect to examine your foe. That is when he will strike.

People keep mailing me about this Halo 2 rumor that is making the rounds. Since we happen to live so close to Microsoft Tycho and I have had the opportunity to go over there quite a few times. We’ve made some great contacts there and I decided I’d just go right to the people who would know. One of our contacts at MS told us it’s unfortunately not true. Halo 2 is 2004 he says.

Karaoke Revolution is pretty good. When you play it by yourself, it's better than doing than dishes. Get a couple people over, and - like Mario Party or Super Smash - something alchemical occurs. Even singing "Wind Beneath My Wings" becomes a carnival of self-aware amusement.

Someone please remind me why I play online games.

Just a reminder that the fourth and final page of our Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon comic is now available. You can read the entire thing right here if you’re interested. The response to CTHD has been awesome. Thank you to everyone who wrote in and complimented ourstuff so it was really nice to see that you all liked it as much as you did.

Just in case I'm wrong and there are others that want to get down in this in way, here is the Song List for Karaoke Revolution. It's a pretty wide mix of pop songs, with some eclectic picks. You'll note that Freezepop managed to tuck another of their songs into a game, in this case Science Genius Girl. It begs the question: Why SGG? Why not Bike Thief, or Plastic Stars, or Harebrained Scheme?

Short an issue I'll go into in a moment, which isn't even really an issue but more of a semantic distinction, Call Of Duty Multiplayer takes us straight back to the fun we had playing Medal Of Honor: Allied Assault. We jumped from Wolf to MOHAA not because Medal was better as a game necessarily, and it ran pretty rough sometimes. We made the switch because it evoked its cinematic heritage with such precision. Call of Duty does it too, and it's no wonder, seeing as it's virtually the same team that made it. With four nationalities and their respective armaments lovingly realized, not to mention a suite of fully twelve maps to play the team-based modes, it occupies my thoughts constantly. I had the opportunity to speak with a couple guys from the team during production, and the enthusiasm for their project was obvious. If I were Activision, I'd have bought them too. I would also say things like "Look at my new developer" or "Isn't my new developer nice."

Our crew is playing Call of Duty now at night and I just had a quick comment about how the search and destroy mode works. It’s fucking lame. So the objective is to go and blow up the German shit, which is cool. The problem is that if the Germans defuse the bomb the game ends and the Germans win. Even if there are allies still alive and time on the clock the game is over and you lose. This is really stupid. If the Germans defuse the charge and I am still alive and kicking I should have the opportunity to plant again or keep kicking ass. I can understand if only one soldier had the ability to plant and he was killed, but everyone on the team can plant explosives. Either way it’s really frustrating and doesn’t make any sense. Our entire crew agrees that they need to at least make it a setting you can turn on or off.

Playing the excellent SSX3 just made me angrier. This feud between EA and Microsoft has got to stop. It's hurting the kids.

The only explanation I can give for today’s comic strip is that I had, until this weekend never had a drink of alcohol before in my life. I have talked before at great length about my various neuroses so this should come as no shock. Essentially I am in a constant state of terror whenever trying anything new or doing anything outside of my routine. Even something like going out with my friends was enough to get my worry gland working over time. People always said I should just have a few drinks and loosen up. Of course they did not understand that I was also afraid of drinking. I always felt like I needed to keep my wits about me should the unexpected happen. Please do not ask me what the unexpected is as I do not know…I suppose that is why it’s unexpected. Just going to Vegas was a huge deal for me and then taking a cab ride away from the relative safety of our hotel and into the wild Las Vegas night was enough to send me into a tizzy. I went through the ride and as I was sitting down with all my friends I felt ridiculous. Here I was in this awesome place with some of my best friends who were all having the time of their lives and I was counting the cash in my wallet over and over again making sure I would have enough money for a cab ride home. This was not how I wanted to spend the evening. So when they brought out the first “Warp Core Breach” I decided it was time to enjoy myself. By the time they brought out the first wave of shots there was no turning back. I didn’t get drunk but I drank enough to get rid of the fucking worry that usually accompanies an evening out in a strange place. I can not even begin to describe what a good time I had. I’m not in any hurry to drink again but at least I’m not afraid of it anymore.

Man, where to even start. Maybe with the comic? I don't know. Also, I'm sorry the strip went up late again. We couldn't get it uploaded at the hotel before we had to get to the airport, and I was hoping this airport would have the wireless shit but no dice. I'm sure we still beat Kurtz.

Flying into Las Vegas made me realize that all other complaints I have made regarding turbulence were wild exaggerations, uncorroborated by reality. I'm not sure this pilot had ever flown before. I have never in my life felt motions like this, the plane tracing complex pictograms in some devil's language. Kara suggested that I have a mint, which she said would help, and I tried to imagine how a piece of candy would improve the impact and subsequent explosion of the aircraft. She was right, though. I closed my eyes and focused on the taste of it, that coordinate in the living universe, and fashioned for myself a green world prior to the invention of planes.

Greg's been putting some time into FFXI strips over there, and I heard that he was able to earn enough gil for a World Pass in about seven hours during the beta. I still think the whole concept is stupid, but if you have a crazy friend like I do who is willing to put in that time up front and get you into his server, it isn't something you need to worry about yourself.

About this time last year we had a survey, and now we need to do a new one because the old one is... well, it's old. If you have a moment, could I trouble you to fill it out?

Rainbow Six 3 - that's the Xbox, non "Raven Shield" version - does something I think is interesting.