I tell secrets to people in order to make them like me. I also create fabulous Penny Arcade wallpapers for them to use on their computers.

My email is broken which means I didn’t get any new mail today. It was sort of cool actually. It also means I had time to go back through some of the mail that has been piling up. That is when I saw an email from the guys running Extra Life for Kids. I am an absolute jackass for letting this slip by and not mentioning it sooner. These guys are holding a 48 hour gaming marathon to raise money for the Children’s Miracle Network.

The creators of both Lobster Doctor and Gamer Hotties are at it again after two months of downtime, revealing their all-new project Wrench Farm.

When we saw Scott's Tuesday strip over at PvP, I must tell you - we were overjoyed. A couple months ago, I told Scott that we were waiting with much enthusiasm for the day he would act against us, and he has not disappointed in the slightest. We've always felt that Scott is at his best when he is at his most aggressive, and we relish this opportunity to return fire in what we hope will be a long-lived feud. Scott is the only one we ever let draw Penny Arcade, so having a foe we can actually respect is a real thrill. Also, we hope he enjoys the traffic. Helping out the little guy just feels good.

I think commas are a tool of oppression.

So today I got a phone call and when I picked it up it was a recording. It said, “This is not a solicitation. This is an automated call. Please call us back at 1-800-something, something, something.” I would have actually called them back but I could not write the number down fast enough and I have no short term memory. Is this how companies are getting around the do not call list? Is it not considered a solicitation if they simply call and ask me to call them back? Interesting.

So I am a bona fide Final Fantsy Freak now. I am watching Kara play through FF: X again. We are playing FF: IX together and once that is done we plan to go back through the rest of them in order. I play FF: Tactics on my GBA for at least three hours every night before I go to sleep. My Ninja Army is truly a fearsome sight. I am eagerly anticipating the release of FF: X2 even though I know full well that it sports a pop star Yuna and an all girl cast. I look at the teaser sight for FF: XII at least five times a day trying to get some new bit of information from the image there. I downloaded the new tech demo for FF: XI the other day and I like to press keys on my keyboard while it’s running and pretend I’m really playing it. I used to make fun of my friend Robert for being such a Final Fantasy fanboy and now I think of ways to break into his house and steal his collection of Squaresoft T-Shirts. Then I saw the new pictures of the direct to DVD FF: VII “movie” and I got so excited I actually went blind for about twenty minutes.

And, we would be criminal to forget, the limitless patience and prodigious bandwidth of HomeLan. I don't even know what sort of bandwidth we pull down anymore, they don't bring it up and I'm afraid to ask.

Since Tycho announced that we will be closing down Club PA I thought this would be a good time to thank everyone who helped us out. I remember a couple years back when the advertising market went to shit and websites were folding left and right. Tycho and I had a very long discussion about closing the site down. We decided to give the donation system a try which at that point was essentially untested. The generosity of our readers pulled us through some lean years and I really can’t thank you guys enough for that. The advertising system we have in place now is working well though and I think it’s time to put club PA on hold. I know lots of you would still like the ability to contribute money for the opportunity to get access to special stuff each month and I can appreciate that. A more structured PA fan club sort of thing may get put together after a few months or so if the demand is there.

I may have been rude. The only thing that will improve my mood, though, is Etherlords II, so as far as retail employees are concerned it's kind of a Catch-22.

The Bard's Tale! It's back!

I know I've been sort of quiet on the site recently but that's just because I've been so damn busy. I mentioned a while back that we are making a four page Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon comic to go along with Ubi Soft's new game. The pressure of creating something that will essentially be CTHD canon is overwhelming. Sony and Ubi Soft have given us these characters to tell a story and we're working really hard to make something worthy of the CTHD name. A few of you asked and so I'll just say it here, the comic will be available online at the CTHD website next month some time for free.

Saw this over at Evil Avatar, and it seemed like something you'd want to know about. And of course, AIX Gaming has our backs again with a Torrent link. Let's get that file seeded up right, so none of our geeky brethren must suffer in the absence of this trailer.

Tiger Woods 2004 frustrates Gabe to no end when played online, and I was going to discuss it, but the only thing you could really compare it to would be Links 2004 which isn't even out. A simple request for info on the multiplayer options in Links led to an offer to try it out and come to our own conclusions - as well as give Top Spin and Project Gotham Racing 2 a whirl. So, we might as well do that. We'll go over there today, and I'd imagine that impressions and wild, subjective gesturing will go up Wednesday. Links 2004 is not, as I understand, anywhere near as feature rich as Tiger - but if it can deliver in multiplayer, it'll have the longevity.

The claim that I was actually good at my telemarketing job was made primarily for your amusement, and is not informed by actual events. Even if I were good at tricking people over the phone, it wouldn't be the sort of thing that generates pride or should be publicly announced. In reality, working there produced a scenario that was almost inconceivably melodramatic.

I neglected to mention that a very brief, low-content site for Final Fantasy XII is now available - interestingly, the poster-style preview image appears to depict a bangaa in the lower-left corner - the bangaa being a reptile race just introduced in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. Hmm