In truth, Monsieur Gribeaux offered nothing but support in real-time. But as a practical matter, he considers the manifold threat of the outer wilds something of a solved problem.

The Penny Arcade iRacing league does ovals on Mondays. I usually only do the Thursday night race but this one sounded too fun to miss. We will be racing the Radical SR8 at Talladega...at night. Super fast cars on a ridiculously fast track in the pitch black, let's do it! I'll be opening the Pit Crew around 6PT this evening over on Twitch if you'd like to watch along. My guess is this one will be action packed!

My food hole is healing nicely, thank you for asking. Obviously, the chicken that was trying to kill me was removed and burned. But I ate the rest of the chicken from that dinner last night so that it would understand that I can't be intimidated in this way. I did the thing with the chicken where I pointed at it with two fingers, roughly where its beady little eyes might have been, and then pointed the fingers toward my own eyes so that it knew the score.

I. I just woke up from surgery. I wish that I knew what was happening. The main thing I gotta do is apologize to all these people for making them wake up in the middle of the night. I ate some chicken wrong and it’s now impacted a lot of lives. Let's get the ol’ shame engine warmed up - it’s never been off this long before, two full hours they tell me, and I feel naked in the absense of its oily cloak. Dr. Shanna, Nurse Belva, I'm sorry. I think a better man might not have instigated the causal chain that resulted in you having to come in here at two in the morning. That’s what I mean to say, and I take a running start at it, except the place where their names should be are like the holes that lead down into a rabbit’s den. If I try to grab them, they just go further in. I learn that if I want to retrieve one of these warm, lost words, I simply form the sentence around it, like a Mad Lib. I leave a little space for the name, and it sniffles its way out of the warren right after the honorifics. When it finally does come out, in the sacred sequence that retains its meaning, they don’t even know what I’m talking about. They don’t know why I’m using my energy in this way. They only want me to feel better. That’s something that firmly distinguishes them from Dr. Fuckface.

They threw the crib door wide in Washington State for vaccines come the 15th, if you want one you can have one, provided you’re over sixteen I think. I got in just under the wire because of the old Asthma commingled with my substantial bulk. For the longest time I wasn’t really aware of the fact that I had fairly significant asthma, just that I preferred Strength to Cardio, at least partially because it was physically possible for me to do the first one without feeling like a black, sucking hole had formed in my chest cavity. I always look to myself first, when I detect a failure on some level: is this failure the result of my being weak, vile, or otherwise reprehensible?

Here’s how it works: if a person comes toward me with a needle, for any reason, my mind becomes decoupled from my body. It floats above, looking down.

It's a really twisted business model to rob people of the sunset of their lives by goading them with shit they never would have seen otherwise. Grandma doesn't need to know about this shit. She doesn't need to know about demonic sneakers. Unless Lil Nas X drops a sick collab with Dr. Scholls, she's good.

League of Legends: Wild Rift is executed to a really high degree. Right now, I can't play that and Monster Hunter so I'm playing Monster Hunter. Not because they didn't do a good job or because I don't have cross-game access to my shit or whatever. It's just literally not possible to do because of how time is dumb.

Well, shit.

God dammit, I thought it was gonna be fine, I thought I was gonna get out clean, S-Tier (Full Escape), but now Gabriel has made the slightest, almost silent invitation to play and now it's installing. Fuck! I held out for almost a full day.

Thursday is Race Day and we're turning tonight's stream into A GIANT MUD PIT! Don't miss as the Penny Arcade iRacing league takes on Crandon International Speedway! Come see Count Truckula devour an entire CITY BUS! Watch in horror as Mike Racecar drives this 1.5 mile hellscape tipsy on hard cider and with almost no practice! the Pit Crew opens tonight on Twitch at 7:30PT!

EA wants back into simulated golf but I guess I don't care.

I mean, I guess I can see why Microsoft would want to buy Discord. I would love to see that built in, an assumption, like they were trying to do with Mixer. I know there are ways you can fuck around and get there, but I mean way down in the metal. It kicks ass. You can run a convention on the Goddamn thing. I also think this can be done as part of a partnership and doesn't require Microsoft to own anymore companies. I think it's time to push away from the table. You know? They just bought a bunch. I feel like my fucking mom. Aren't you full?

I used to have TV service through my fiber provider, but maybe I was the only one, or it wasn't good business or something, so they decided to stop offering it. That didn't keep them from charging me for it, and when they took down my access to the Internet to remove it, access never came back despite their claims to contrary - I had to call them and enter a personal name and password I never created directly into the router to get back on. The line in panel two was a direct quote, and it was not a comfort. But once I was able to get them to remove the fee for the service I didn't have access to, they offered me gigabit speeds - ten times my original rate - for 25 dollars less than I was currently paying...? It was one of the most bewildering customer service experiences I've ever had. It still feels like my brain is spinning in my head.

The Child’s Play charity is holding its second annual Gamers Give Back day tomorrow in a concerted effort to get streamers to play games and raise money for Children’s Hospitals all over the world.

There is a scene in the Zach Snyder's Ultra Justice League: Unchained DX where everybody has to hide their macguffins, and it's kinda funny by itself but it also essentially charts out a three panel structure that is sorta hard to resist. I finished the movie last night - it took me a couple days to finish it - and it's better than the theatrical release by a lot. It isn't close. We've described this type of work alternately as "Sweet" or "Bad-Ass," and it absolutely is those things. It's somewhere between the mythic portrayals of Alex Ross and a disintegrating peechee worn thin by ballpoint skulls engraved into its surface. It's not for everyone, but we can't say it's for no one. It had its moment and now it's gone.