John Woo has optioned the rights to make a film based on Metroid, but that hardly means anything. Someone optioned it before him as you'll recall, the gaming high council met to determine the our official response, and then the option was allowed to lapse. Also, Woo's entire role in this movie still isn't clear. But I'm crossing my fingers, I want to believe that Samus Aran can survive the translation to a screen of those dimensions, so hopefully whatever intellect takes note of gestures like that is paying attention.

In the last week I have been accused of selling out to Blizzard, Ubisoft and Taco Bell. While it’s true that I would gladly sign over my rights to Penny Arcade for a life-time supply of meef and cheese churritos, that day has not yet arrived.

Okay, so there is a big Ghost Recon: Jungle Storm contest going on and we are a part of it. The way it works is you go sign up here and then you play some 3 on 3 matches online. At the end of the competition, the two teams with the highest rankings will be flown to San Francisco where they will battle it out in the Sony Metreon. There are lots of awesome prizes, like flat-screen TV's, a surround-sound home theater system, PlayStation 2 peripherals, and a Plasma TV. Tycho and I will be there and you’ll have the opportunity to play against us if that’s something your interested in.

Speaking of Splinter Cell:PT. Page seven of our sixteen page comic book is now online. This is actually one of my favorite pages of the entire book. Am I allowed to say that without sounding like an asshole?

Heren Istarion, the New York Tolkien Society, is holding their traditional Ringbearer's Day at Marymount Manhattan College where you can absolutely geek out and nobody can say boo about it. Look at some of this stuff that's going on, it might be for you.

I've gotten some mail from people asking if the shadownet spies in the multiplayer portion of

The ersatz Reader Appreciation Month continues, apparently, with the return of

It was a very good thing we all did, it's true.

So many people begged for a larger version of the last panel in Friday's comic that I had no choice but to deliver one.

Today's strip concerning Div's "peripherals" really just scratches the surface.

If you would like to read The Corpse without sullying your computer at Playboy dot com, this comic is being made available for super cheap as a 25c (in some places, free) comic you can just pick up at many comic shops. Shit, if you want tons and tons of Hellboy stuff, click here. It's not naughty, and it's packed to the gills.

One of the questions humans frequently ask is "when will the Fruit Fucker Two-Thousand return stateside," a question answered in the crossover with Elf Only Inn. The reality, however, is that anyone with a telephone can order one - it's a commercial product which occupies shelf upon shelf of hermetically sealed warehouse space. In fact, last I heard anyway, they were planning on doing one specifically suited to agribusiness.

Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow
(Click on downloads)

I had no idea revolting continuity would emerge from the last strip, but continuity makes a shrewd opponent. We found ourselves so curious about Brian, however, that we simply wanted more. When you see his mismatched furs in the moonlight, his strangled expression, and this is to say nothing of his vicious bear, you may find yourself craving him as well.

It's true that I really enjoy playing my new Warlock character. I'd say my favorite thing to do right now is drain the souls from my enemies, shaping the remnants of their sprit into a small jewel that I can then use later to summon forth unspeakable evils or just make a snack that will give me back all my health.

I'm punch-drunk, stupid, and stumbling from a succession of punishing blows, strikes administered with precision by a weekend solid with electronic amusements. It's true that our incorporation into the World of Warcraft beta - which we've now learned will likely gestate beyond the five month period - has created new tensions inside our Inbox. The usual dark themes make an appearance: our deep collusion with Blizzard, the result of having been anointed with evil oils of nebulous manufacture, has done this or that and now we are incapable of providing genuine coverage of the game. I suppose that given the opportunity, they would turn down a beta spot based on some heretofore unuttered moral code. What I should do at any given moment has always been shrouded is mystery, I do so enjoy these communiques from ethical paragons.