One of the questions humans frequently ask is "when will the Fruit Fucker Two-Thousand return stateside," a question answered in the crossover with Elf Only Inn. The reality, however, is that anyone with a telephone can order one - it's a commercial product which occupies shelf upon shelf of hermetically sealed warehouse space. In fact, last I heard anyway, they were planning on doing one specifically suited to agribusiness.

Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow
(Click on downloads)

I had no idea revolting continuity would emerge from the last strip, but continuity makes a shrewd opponent. We found ourselves so curious about Brian, however, that we simply wanted more. When you see his mismatched furs in the moonlight, his strangled expression, and this is to say nothing of his vicious bear, you may find yourself craving him as well.

It's true that I really enjoy playing my new Warlock character. I'd say my favorite thing to do right now is drain the souls from my enemies, shaping the remnants of their sprit into a small jewel that I can then use later to summon forth unspeakable evils or just make a snack that will give me back all my health.

I'm punch-drunk, stupid, and stumbling from a succession of punishing blows, strikes administered with precision by a weekend solid with electronic amusements. It's true that our incorporation into the World of Warcraft beta - which we've now learned will likely gestate beyond the five month period - has created new tensions inside our Inbox. The usual dark themes make an appearance: our deep collusion with Blizzard, the result of having been anointed with evil oils of nebulous manufacture, has done this or that and now we are incapable of providing genuine coverage of the game. I suppose that given the opportunity, they would turn down a beta spot based on some heretofore unuttered moral code. What I should do at any given moment has always been shrouded is mystery, I do so enjoy these communiques from ethical paragons.

Linguaphiles, start your engines.

Man, don't tell me this stuff right now. I had basically broken up with the phone, and now you're telling me that the phone wants to get back together.

Many of you have probably already obtained a copy of Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow, in fact, you might have even locked up your console with its overlooked game browser crash bug! Creating games and then using invites to fill them up can skirt you around the issue, but it's a shame that a game that shows so much polish in other respects runs aground on something so fundamental. How did it happen? Well, that's something we've thought about.

Humans apparently like the crisp combination of imp and businesscat, here are the wallpapers you have asked for. I think that we would rather enjoy making some sort of surreal adventure for these two.

Page 5 of our Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow comic book is online (Click on downloads). I do hope you enjoy it, now things are really starting to get intersting.

We will be at Sakuracon again this year. It's at the Seattle Airport Hilton and Conference Center and Marriott Hotel April 23rd to April 25th. You can get all the details at the website if you're interested. We are gonna have two brand new posters available for purchase at Sakuracon. Here's a peek at the posters.

The most recent post took precedence, but the WoW information I promised you did get posted - it just got posted a lot later than I intended to.

We had hit up the View Askew site - partially because Kevin Smith is our lord and savior, but also because we were curious to see what information there was about the film Jersey Girl. The movie in question apparently wasn't made for critics, which struck us as a rock-solid strategem. This culminated in the direct application of that principle to our own work, which produced something very much like what we would have done anyway. It may be impolite, but the weight of a perfect stranger's sour opinion on our work is approximately nothing.

Every event today conspired against my writing this, except the one thing I wanted to do, which is play World of Warcraft. My knowledge of the game world and its systems is not in any way encyclopedic - I was not in the Alpha, for example, so my character only has the experience and abilities I have been able to accrue since Friday's beta announcement. However, it stands to reason that I might know some things that would interest you.

I had every intention of continuing the World of Warcraft discussion, particularly what makes it humane in comparison to other genre entries. Then, I had to answer 1345 e-mails. Now all I want to do is kill.

If this is World of Warcraft in its beta form, then we would do well to fear the hybrid super heroin they will ultimately unleash. My propensity for "crafting," if indeed that is an accurate term to describe clicking a button until some imaginary quantity is created, is well known - and this was before I was scanning the countryside in the style of Aragorn, selecting roots of a curative nature and making potions of various kinds while Gabriel was savagely mistreated by bears.